If you're not familiar with the type of social media posts about building your ideal man/woman on a budget, they generally look a lot like these:
Obviously, the whole point of these is to demonstrate how you are never going to get everything you're looking for out of someone, and to gameify choosing what qualities are most important to you and which ones you're most OK settling for.
Twitter has taken this format and brought it to a new level, parodying it by giving you a budget that really only gets you one type of man/woman:
Ladies you only have $5 to build the perfect man, wyd:
-- Baby Weasel (@adda_boi) January 13, 2017
Smart $5,000
Funny $70
Athletic $150
Looks like waluigi $2
Acts like waluigi $3
1. Waluigi would never do this to you
ladies you have $5 to build the perfect man
-- ryan (@yeetztweetz) April 24, 2018
$300 - tall
$200 - smart
$400 - has a good job
$3 - his driving makes your stomach upset
$2 - makes fun of you for believing in astrology
$500 - attractive
2. How does his driving make your stomach feel tho
ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man
-- eric turtle (@dubstep4dads) April 23, 2018
$300 - works out
$200 - smart
$400 - smells nice
$70 - has a job
$10 - is a mouse named stuart
$5 - owns a red convertible
$500 - over 6 feet tall
3. Also is known to be a Man Spider from time to time
ladies you have $5 to build your perfect man
-- T/yler, the Internship Haver (@woodmasterfresh) April 26, 2018
$50 - gets along with your family
$20 - financially stable
$1 - is the Trash Man
$1 - comes out, throws trash all over the ring
$1 - starts eating garbage
$1 - picks up the trash can
$1 - bashs the guy on the head
$40 - good at sex
4. Please no
-- Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) April 24, 2018
Ladies, you have $5 to build the perfect man.
$100 - funny
$300 - smart
$5 - wants you to guess which part of his body he named Pickle Rick
$200 - attractive
5. Tricked ya bitch
ladies you have $5 to build the perfect man
-- jaden (@jadentodd12) April 26, 2018
$400 loyal
$150 rich
$500 funny
$3 actually not a man at all
$2 lesbian
$250 good looking
6. This is how, you remind him
ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man
-- Nickelblake (@dempsters15) April 26, 2018
$99 - is kind
$200 - dresses nice
$85 - has good hair
$10 - never made it as a wise man
$4- couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
$1- is Chad Kroeger
$500 - over 6 feet tall
7. Hell yes
fellas you have $15 to spend on the perfect girl
-- justin (@jnudey) April 25, 2018
$300 - works out
$200 - smart
$400 - smells nice
$70 - kind
$10 - is a cartoon
$5 - has huge anime tiddies
$500 - faithful
8. Also isn't the sharpest tool in the shed
you have $15 to spend on the perfect man
-- Netflix US (@netflix) April 26, 2018
$300 - is well read
$200 - smells terrific
$400 - snappy dresser
$10 - fights for the love of his life
$4 - has solid relationship with his best friend
$1 - is shrek
$500 - human
9. It's just smarter
Ladies you have $15 to build the perfect man.
-- Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) April 26, 2018
Please instead put that $ in your Roth IRA.
10. ;)
fellas you have $5 to build the perfect girl
-- noted pacers fan, will lepper (@HeisenBarry) April 25, 2018
$1 she's
$1 reading
$1 this
$1 right
$1 now
11. If you're telling me that boy isn't polite or handsome you're out of your mind
Ladies you have $5 to build yourself the perfect man.
-- Ren (@GameIikeEA) April 24, 2018
$200 - handsome
$500 - rich
$100 - tall
$3 - yodels
$2 - loves Walmart
$300 - polite
12. Just know that you get all the other qualities as well with this man
ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man
-- ENEMY AC-130 ABOVE (@isiahxmartin) April 24, 2018
$300 - works out
$200 - smart
$400 - smells nice
$70 - has a good job
$10 - mayor of flavor town
$5 - frosted tips
$500 - over 6 feet tall
13. It's a helluva deal
Ladies u have $5 to build the perfect man-
-- gabs (@GabrielleMcKeon) April 26, 2018
$100- validates ur feelings
$700- laughs at all of ur jokes
$600- looks like John Krasinski
$5- you keep your five dollars and instead go get a 4 for $4 at your local Wendy's
$400- Scratches back whenever u fricken want
14. Sorry best I can do is $10 on this
ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man
-- Natalie Ray (@_natalieray) April 24, 2018
$300 - works out
$200 - smart
$400 - smells nice
$70 - has a job
$10 - owns a pawn shop
$5 - never knows what's gonna come through that door
$500 - over 6 feet tall
15. HIS NAME IS REMY
ladies you have $5 to build the perfect man
-- e (@2hourbrows) April 24, 2018
$300 - tall
$200 - smart
$400 - has a good job
$1 - is a rat
$3 - is a chef
$1 - His name is Ratatouille
$500 - attractive
16. Forgive me they were delicious
you have $15 to spend on the perfect poet
-- jomny sun (@jonnysun) April 26, 2018
$300 - poignantly captures the grief and joy of survival
$200 - uses narrative as an agent of re-imagination
$400 - compassionate, elegiac lyric gently pushing you forward
$10 - is your roommate
$5 - ate your plums
$500 - over 6 ft tall
17. Goddamn it why don't they make songs like this anymore
ladies you have $5 to build the perfect man
-- bauhausfanaccoun jameson enema extravaganza ☝🏻😪 (@hypedresonance) April 24, 2018
$970000 - lots of money
$679000 - big dick
$2 - this love has taken its toll on me
$70000 - nice
$3 - she said goodbye too many times before
18. Hmmm not sure I know who this could be referring to
ladies you have $5 to build the perfect man
-- boo yah hotdog (@scant_alpaca) April 24, 2018
$100 - handsome
$200 - smart
$600 - tall
$3 - can swallow an apple without chewing
$2 - name rhymes with shar shar shminks
$500 - loving
19. What else could you possibly want
ladies you have $5 to build the perfect man:
-- tayyy🌞🍯💛 (@taysquires) April 24, 2018
$300 - average looks
$200 - likes guy fieri
$600 - can do razor scooter tricks
$1- soundcloud rapper
$1- pops xans for breakfast
$2 - plays fortnite but has no victory royales
$500 - doesn't sell meth or any other hard drugs
from CollegeHumor: Pictures https://ift.tt/2vS0GRo
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