15 Excellent Tweets For Starting Your Day Right

الأربعاء، 18 أبريل 2018

15 Excellent Tweets For Starting Your Day Right

1. WEE WOO WEE WOO

Being black and just minding your own damn business in America pic.twitter.com/LRPfxGg9hM
-- TheHoodedDragon (@TheHoodedDraco) April 14, 2018

2. Laugh it up lady, my dude's bouta do a 900 over your ass

Woman on plane retrieving her luggage in the overhead:
"Who's skateboard is this? It's blocking my bag"
me: that's mine, you can pass it here
her: "It's yours? You ride it?
me: yes
her: "Are you any good at it?"
me: sometimes
her: cackles maniacally, exits plane
-- Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) April 16, 2018

3. Thats Spielberg for ya

"I'm Ready," said Player One, raising his cybersword.

The gate opened, and a snarling Tony the Tiger barreled through, his dick swinging freely.
-- Daniel Kibblesmith ☃️ (@kibblesmith) April 16, 2018

4. Did they like, do something to you?

genie: you have three wishes

me: make firemen ugly

genie: you got it

me: instead of sliding down a pole make them climb out of a well

genie: ok

me: take the big ladder off their truck

genie: dude what's your problem
-- Olly iConic (@Chumpstring) April 15, 2018

5. So there you have it folks

Bro Cardi B is something else 😂💀 pic.twitter.com/HpZdGCoW0E
-- ´\_(ツ)_/¯ (@StashTrashs) April 16, 2018

6. I can't do it any other way now

This is how you eat ice cream though pic.twitter.com/mBBxnwhwTx
-- mrym (YES IM FINE) (@lunasetareh) April 16, 2018

7. Target acquired

pic.twitter.com/mkQVDz6Seb
-- Trav NEVER Chills (@SKTV_) April 15, 2018

8. Well I wasn't even thinking about doing that but now I am

Whenever you see a very specific sign prohibiting certain actions, it means someone has done that thing before. pic.twitter.com/VqI1cG4QBv
-- Tremors was a documentary. (@turnageb) April 16, 2018

9. Please sound off, lmk

lesbian: I have a huge crush on you and I want to date you

other lesbian: hold on a second. *opens twitter* hey guys this girl just told me she wants to date me, do you think she's gay and into me or is she just being nice??
-- Kait 🌱 (@itzzkait) April 10, 2018