13 Bits Of NSFW Advice Everybody Should Know

There's a lot of great advice and wisdom you can learn from random people on the internet, but let's be honest, you're not gonna follow any of it or even give it a glance if it's not NSFW, dirty-ass advice. So have it.

Here's some filthy, yet useful advice we should all be following:

1. Romanopapa -- NOT during. 

Pee after sex.

2. Omny87 -- Seems a little too specific.

Improvising is one thing, but if you're using something that's not a sex toy as a sex toy, and there's even the slightest risk it could be stuck on or inside you, don't stick it on or inside you. It ain't worth the cost of hospital bills or the shame of explaining to your doctor why you have a can of Monster shoved up your ass or why your dick is stuck in a wet-vac.

3. SketchyBrush -- Liquid diets are a recipe for sharts. 

If you are on a liquid diet, don't trust your farts

4. ArchbishopDonMJuan -- GO GO GO slower.

To young or inexperienced lovers, slow down. It's not like it is in porn. Don't finger as hard as you can, don't pound as hard as you can. There is a time and place for that but it's not all GO GO GO all the time.

5. Pm_big_tiddys -- Butts are fragile. 

if you are gonna stick it in the butt be gentle and use a fuck ton of lube

6. LiteraryViolet -- They are needed for a reason. 

Don't ever do BDSM related shit with someone who thinks safewords are for pussies.

7. CSKING444 -- Plus, you get buff. 

Alright this saved me a lot of times in my teens, whenever you get an unexpected boner just flex any muscle for 60 secs and wooosh... Boner gone

8. NothingButFlowers_ -- What are people doing to your scrotum? 

Please, please say it with me.

The scrotum is not a load-bearing hardpoint.

9. Vilkans -- This is actually true. 

It's lower than you think.

10. username-75756 -- Again, Dave? 

Close your browser/tabs/vids after a porn sesh. So when you open your laptop at work it doesn't blast hardcore gay porn throughout the office, Dave.

11. Turdmonkey2 -- Both valuable pieces of advice. 

For men it would be; don't ignore the clit

For women it would be; take it easy, youre stroking my cock not trying to pull start a cold lawn mower.

12. Ganglebot -- Give your man an sexy aneursym.

Ladies, when you're giving a handjob and the dude busts a nut, don't slow down as he nuts. 

Just keep the same pace until he asks you to stop or puts his hand on your hand.

That extra 5-10 seconds is the difference between a 6/10 nice orgasm, and a 11/10 power orgasm that will break your dude's brain for a good couple of minutes. 

I've burst a blood vessel in my eye from this.

13. xilog -- Definitely don't bust into a Journey song as a bit.

Whatever you're doing sexually, if she says "don't stop" it means just that. No faster, no slower, no harder, no softer, just exactly what you're doing right now.

from CollegeHumor: Pictures https://ift.tt/2En7nJU