Twitter can be a rough place - there's lots of harrassment, Nazis, threats, and general arguing and drama that you find in most places online. But also? Some pretty funny people, making some pretty funny tweets. Here are some of the best ones lately:
1. Surprise, surprise - having two gay dads actually SHIELDS you from teasing.
Yesterday I asked my 12-year-old son what other kids at school think about him having 2 dads.
-- Bryce Tache 🇺🇸 (@brycetache) April 19, 2018
His response: They don't care but they don't like how I'm immune to "Yo Mama" jokes.
2. Whew, thank god we now live in endless winter!
Your body not summer ready? No worries, summer isn't coming this year
-- Chuck Bass (@jackman_nick69) April 16, 2018
3. Listen, Stuart will always be there for you so this isn't a bad deal.
ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man
-- eric turtle (@dubstep4dads) April 23, 2018
$300 - works out
$200 - smart
$400 - smells nice
$70 - has a job
$10 - is a mouse named stuart
$5 - owns a red convertible
$500 - over 6 feet tall
4. Uhhhh I don't entirely trust this "Spotty" guy.
the end of this kids book ends on the most riveting cliffhanger I've ever seen pic.twitter.com/EqCG7oCMns
-- extra fabulous comics (@extrafabulous) April 18, 2018
5. If you hurt a dog, you deserve something WORSE than John Wick. Let that sink in.
After owning a dog for a month I'm here to tell you that John Wick is the story of the world's most restrained person who sees their dog murdered
-- Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) April 19, 2018
6. No one can stay bitter while looking at long-necked turtles.
my mood goes from 0-100 whenever i think of long-necked turtles pic.twitter.com/vW9ZeEtXjE
-- Pauline 🌻☠️ (@Punziella) April 16, 2018
7. My girl just GETS me, ya know?
me: hey baby
-- i cant drive 2007 (@prophethusband) April 19, 2018
gf: hey ;) go to ----> tiny.url/1353 to see me. it's free
me: yeah i has a rough day at work
gf: hey ;) go to ----> tiny.url/1353 to see me. it's free
me: haha thanks u always make me feel better
gf: hey ;) go to ----> tiny.url/1353 to see me. it's free
me: love u too
8. My mom's favorite street.
Literally screamed and pulled over. pic.twitter.com/lfOXyol2yU
-- Dan Zak (@MrDanZak) April 22, 2018
9. I'm honestly not sure if I've ever seen a wrong-er comment.
can't stop laughing at this perfect facebook comment pic.twitter.com/ttMEjcwIeN
-- julie lauren vick (@lila_engel) April 15, 2018
10. Never underestimate the possibility of vengeful shoguns.
hey "nice" manbun haha it fuckin sucks you hipster asshole [he turns around and reveals he is a samurai from the tokugawa shogunate] oh fuck
-- PUPPY PROVISIONAL GOVERNMENT (@D0GGEAUX) April 19, 2018
11. Hmmm well she's not WRONG.
Best Taco Bell story I have is working the midnight window. Guy orders 20 hard tacos at 2 AM. My coworker makes them. As she's about to hand them to him, he changes his mind and wants soft tacos. She repeatedly punches the bag, yells "they're soft now", & lobs it into his car.
-- Minovsky (@MinovskyArticle) April 17, 2018
12. I can accept magic and fairies, but DEFINITELY not multiple skin colors (other than blue).
Gamer: This steampunk fantasy game has a black woman, so it's bad.
-- Bex Gerber ✡️♿️ (@remembrancermx) April 16, 2018
Other gamers: ...there are literally fairies in this game.
Gamer: BLACK WOMEN ARE A BRIDGE TOO FAR OK.#Lethis pic.twitter.com/OEC0tFO4Yj
13. Wow, it's one Brad's-worth in length.
Found a TV for sale on Facebook and I can't stop laughing at how the chose to show the scale pic.twitter.com/I1D3Xe2xNn
-- Comey By Your Name (@phrantum) April 22, 2018
from CollegeHumor: Pictures https://ift.tt/2r3S2JT
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