15 Cringey Sexual Experiences People Will Never Forget

Most of the time even bad sex is still fine. Maybe you didn't quite connect, but hey, you still...you know, had sex. But sometimes something happens that turns bad sex into a horrifying event that will never be forgotten. These 15  cringey sexual experiences won't be forgotten any time soon, that's for damn sure.

1. vioixioiv -- She'd probably be weirded out you're thinking of her during sex. 

2 minutes in, she stopped with a sad look on her face followed by, "what would my mom think of me??".... yup that ended that.

2. Dole31 -- This family is close. Too close. 

I fell asleep masturbating. My brother walked in, laughed at the sight of me holding my dick with porn still playing. My parents came to see what he was laughing it, they laughed too. My brother woke me up by throwing a shoe at me and I was so embarrassed that I immediately got dressed and left the house for a few hours.

My dad told my grandparents and promised to tell everyone at my wedding.

3. DizzyBalloon -- This man sticks to his plans.

Agreed to have sex in the shower with a random hookup. She comes over, doesn't want to have a shower. I proceed to shower with her in the bathroom the whole time

4. Vergeter -- Weird, comparing someones genitals to a potato chip is a turn off? Who knew? 

Back in college this girl came over to my dorm to netflix and chill. It was going well and we had plenty of snacks to eat. After a while things start to get a little frisky and I slide down to eat her out. She's having a good time, I'm having a good time, everything's going great. But then out of my stupid fucking mouth comes the words: "mmm you taste like potato chips." We're both just stunned for a second at how I could say something so stupid. She buries her face in her hands and goes "oh my god that is such a turn off." She's about to get off me so the only thing I can think to do is to shove my tongue back in her. Surprisingly it worked but for the rest of the night I knew that's all either of us were really thinking about. This is how I learned to keep my mouth shut during sex.

5. foxesinsoxes -- I can feel the awkward pain of this one. 

I once had sex with a bigger guy I was dating in his pool in the middle of the night and he had the smallest penis I had ever seen. It was our first time having sex and it was the worst. I was pretty tiny (both height and weight) and he was very large and he kind of had to like pin me to the side of the pool and he kept trying to put it in but it just was not working. So he was humping me and basically turning the pool into a wave pool, water was splashing onto my face and he was making horrible grunting noises while I kind of had to just stay there pinned with these damn waves crashing into me and his body smashing mine with no actual penetration. I thought this was all awkward enough until after he finally started to give up I looked back into his house to see his friend, who I thought was asleep, masturbating on the couch watching this goddamn nightmare go down. 

Hands down the worst "sex" of my life. We didn't date very long...

6. rebelroadbike -- "I wake up to the sudden urge to cum" 

I was at a party with my then ex-gf in high school. Both of us are pretty drunk & she wants to have sex so we go to the upstairs bathroom, lock the door, and turn off the lights. I lie on the floor, no condom, and she proceeds to ride me. I have narcolepsy, so I tend to fall asleep at inappropriate times... this being one of those times. I fell asleep for who knows how long. I wake up to the sudden urge to cum, I yell "GET OFF", push her off me, she hits her head on the counter, and I cum all over myself... sad moment.

7. LongBongJohnSilver -- This person tells very brief stories.

First time I signed up on OKC I immediately got messaged by this chick who said "Hi, my name is Sarah, and I smell horrible." I didn't believe her, but she really smelled bad. She gave me a blowjob in my dad's basement and I never saw her again.

8. xandrenia -- "Oh god, there's SO much jizz. Just TRUST me on it." 

I once had a guy "fake it" on my back and then fake wiped the fake jizz off of me and he thought I wouldn't notice. 

Edit: this was around 2:00 am and we were going on round 3, and we were both heavily intoxicated. I don't blame him for it, I was tired too. He admitted it to me a few days later and we had a good laugh about it.

9. notafirehazard -- Whoever gave the handjob has some extreme arm endurance. 

Got a handjob in a movie theater when i was in the 10th grade. it lasted over two hours and i had a bloody dick by the end of it

10. domzeee -- Keep us updated.

Context: I drink a lot of coffee so sometimes I get a serious case of palpitation and get gag reflexes specially when I'm full. 

So yeah, me and my gf just finished eating and I ate a lot. So while doing the deed, I started feeling a little nauseous. I finished and managed to get to the side of the bed before vomiting. She felt really bad because she thought it was because I thought the sex was disgusting. She even asked if she smelled bad down there. I tried to tell her it wasn't her fault and it was only because I was so full. She didn't believe me. Haven't had sex since and it has been 2 weeks.

11. noisyturtle -- Definitely don't roast ur girlfriend's past sex life, mid sex. 

Right in the middle of fucking my then girlfriend, I think it's the perfect time to say, "So I hear you suck a lot of dick." in response to someone telling me she used to fuck some random guy I met at a recent party. WHILE I WAS FUCKING HER! What in holy crow was I doing?!? Why would I say that? Needless to say it ruined the entire night at that exact moment.

12. bystander007 -- Netflix and Chill Become The Father Of My Children

Met a Tinder date at her place. Surprise, she has two young children of which I was unaware. Extremely weird for me but it's just a dinner thing not a hook-up. 

I thought. This woman is being aggressively sexual while shooting shooing her kids away every 5 minutes. 

Atmosphere makes it clear she wants me to stay the night. So she goes to put her kids to sleep. So far it's been uncomfortable but not a deal breaker. 

Then one of her kids calls me daddy. I'm in my early twenties. I freaked the fuck out, made an excuse, and left.

13. eix7 -- Well at least you got closure on why those things went down. 

The night I lost my virginity, we went at it missionary for 45 minutes (I had to be home for curfew), he didn't finish, and cried while walking me to my car.... now, he's out and proud

14. washington_breadstix -- What happens after this? Do you stay? Do you help clean up? A baffling situation all around. 

Went home with a Tinder date, kissed and got naked, and threw up in her bed before we could have sex.

15. als_pals -- Hey, those things are hard to find. Back off. 

He fingered my bellybutton. I can only assume he thought it was my clit, but how??

from CollegeHumor: Pictures https://ift.tt/2IaBYN3