14 Tweets That Make You Laugh Your Dick and/or Vagina Off

1.  This is the greatest line reading of all time: 

Jeff Goldblum is doing a Reddit AMA and said the favorite line he's ever uttered in a movie is "my laugh in the helicopter scene in Jurassic Park." pic.twitter.com/3Mi2Xv82hG

-- Jarett Wieselman (@JarettSays) June 4, 2018

2. Seems like an easier way to identify her than the shoe thing: 

There was something bothering me on Cinderella's 3d model. It's not that I don't like it but she somehow looked different and I didn't know why, I just realized it's because SHE NEVER HAD EARS IN THIS COSTUME pic.twitter.com/EnEU013yPb

-- Alicia (art hiatus until July) ☀️ au 📌 (@kaprikume) June 5, 2018

3. I understand cuteness in every language: 

ペットショップの犬と猫が
壁の隙間で遊んでる様子が
かわいすぎるからみんなに見てほしい😍😍 #犬と猫の向こう側 #犬と猫 #癒し動画 #可愛いと思ったらRT #猫 #動物 pic.twitter.com/8PLq2gBxzs

-- たれめ@pic民 (@taremegn) June 4, 2018

4. Who among us cannot say the same?: 

Real talk, on fourteen occasions I've thrown my hands in the ay-uh even though I wasn't a true play-uh. Feels good to come clean about that. I apologize to anyone I've hurt.

-- George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) June 6, 2018

5. She's talking about Star Trek, right?: 

If only there were a franchise, something really popular we all could've grow up watching, about how it's never ok to give into anger and hate, even to protect the things you love. https://t.co/edNeAP3DMe

-- Living Marble (@living_marble) June 5, 2018

6. Oh no! We think like them: 

My mom said my little brother isn't allowed to eat peanut butter at school and I was like "wait, so he can't eat a pb&j for lunch?" and she said "no, because a kid could die" then I (wrongly) was like "pb&js don't kill people!!" and that's when I realized peanut butter is my guns

-- Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) June 6, 2018

7.  Please don't sabotage their friendship: 

You can tell the Beastie Boys were close because they'd finish each other's sentences.

-- Colley (@JamColley) June 5, 2018

8. To be young and naive: 

When I was younger I thought cops were legally allowed to commit crimes and get away with it and then I got older and found out that wasn't true and then I got even older and found out it was

-- Jules (@Julian_Epp) June 6, 2018

9. Emotional whiplash: 

*sees tweet with multiple photos of dog*
me: 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
*reads tweet*
tweet: today we said goodbye to-
me: pic.twitter.com/JyADDwbflb

-- Thomas "TomSka" Ridgewell (@thetomska) June 5, 2018

10. At least people would read this one: 

I'm updating my privacy policy pic.twitter.com/NtrftC7lIP

-- Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) June 5, 2018

11. Literally me: 

I👏Ha👏ve n👏o ry👏th👏y👏m

-- Willie Muse (@Williesillie2) June 5, 2018

12. I would absolutely eat this dog: 

bröther i am löäf pic.twitter.com/PByAtUe4jx

-- gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) June 4, 2018

13. Is it the panda?:

One of these things is not like the other. pic.twitter.com/nKOjiP0sdn

-- Hannah Grant (@pissqueen1) June 6, 2018

14. Why do so many people have Wesley Snipes's phone number: 

For everyone that sends me this photo 300 times a day ... I SEENT IT!!! I SEENT IT! I SEENT IT! 😂 pic.twitter.com/u7vumefgO9

-- WS (@wesleysnipes) June 4, 2018

from CollegeHumor: Pictures https://ift.tt/2Ju8AG2