The "How Would A Snake Hold A Knife?" Debate Actually Has An Answer

الخميس، 12 يوليو 2018

The "How Would A Snake Hold A Knife?" Debate Actually Has An Answer

Shutterstock

One of the internet's favorite hobbies of the last few years is imagining how animals (with non-human bodies and anatomies) would deal with human tools and objects, namely stuff like "How would a dog wear pants?" or "How would a giraffe wear a tie?" You've probably seen at least one of these, and probably also had an argument with someone online over which one was the more sensible option:

KnowYourMeme

When giraffes go to work do you think they put the tie at the top or bottom of their necks?

Asking for a friend. pic.twitter.com/e3cFarF75P
-- Jeremy Hammond (@jeremythunder) November 17, 2016

KnowYourMeme

And while these examples are fun to think about and debate over (they're the EXACT RIGHT MIX of inconsequential but thought-provoking), it's hard to come up with a meaningful answer - dogs COULD wear pants in either way and it would have the same effect (an uncomfortable dog), same with giraffes wearing ties. As for dolphins smoking a cigarette - it probbbbbably wouldn't enjoy either method too much. Also, being in water all the time means it would be REAL hard to keep it lit.

And now there's another entry to this burgeoning category of internet arguments - HOW WOULD A SNAKE HOLD A KNIFE?

finally found a reasonable question pic.twitter.com/gdtqf7IkD4
-- Chappell Ellison٩( ᐛ )و (@ChappellTracker) July 10, 2018

We were starting to get into it a bit here at work (I was firmly on pro-tail side) and it looked like this would be another endless pointless debate over something pretty meaningless that would never actually end. But, as it turns out, it's a different story altogether. See, @TonyMacAttack stepped in and asked her brother (AN ACTUAL SNAKE BREEDER) to weigh in - and he delivered:

Today in "I asked my snake breeder brother a question with a funny snake photo and should've expected this response" pic.twitter.com/phIMm21bcr
-- Toni McIntyre (@ToniMacAttack) July 11, 2018

So remember - keep your knives away from ball pythons. Just in case...