Hope you saved room for some dessert 'cause these Tweets are exceptionally decadent. Served hot and fresh from Twitter, you won't find anything tastier on the internet than these big boys, and they sure are a mouthful.
Go on, take a slice, treat yourself!
1. Look ma! I made it!
I am so Humble ❤ im not bragging but i just wanna thank god i went from living paycheck to paycheck to saving up enough money to purchase a data plan that allowed me to download this picture 🙌🙌 pic.twitter.com/ZdS1Yjasb5
-- Normani's boo (@TyranKyran) March 22, 2018
2. Let this be a lesson about peace and forgiveness for the whole world.
Over a year ago, I threatened you out of anger over the death of a lost one. A death that you were not responsible for.
-- Gavin (@GavBurl) January 2, 2018
Today, I've returned to make things right. To end the cycle of violence. It's what Steve would have wanted. I'm sorry and I love you Water Pancake. pic.twitter.com/wrcyoFBB00
3. I'm so hungry right now.
[minutes after eating mac & cheese] u know what would be amazing right now- and honestly it's been a while since I've had it- mac & cheese
-- online printer (@hellohappy_time) December 5, 2017
4. Nailed it.
"I'd like you to paint me a cat."
-- Stephanie Boland (@stephanieboland) May 3, 2017
"A what?"
"A cat. You do know what a cat is, right? You've seen a cat?"
"Uh, yeah. Of course." pic.twitter.com/GeYOogkWO5
5. God, men are such seaholes.
A guy just tried to MANSPLAIN to me what a sawhorse is but I SHUT HIM DOWN bc I am WELL AWARE that it's the past tense of seahorse, THANKS
-- Jamie (@spacej_me) March 17, 2018
6. *Sheds tear* Congrats, you guys!
Half of all boxing photos look like gay weddings pic.twitter.com/K3sOhm2VlK
-- Jon Lovett (@jonlovett) September 16, 2017
7. This is the moment little girls dream about their whole life.
me: *gets down on one knee*
-- cory (@_coryrichardson) January 31, 2018
girlfriend: omg, it's finally happening
me: *falls over*
girlfriend: the poison is kicking in
8. Dammit, Karen, have you listened to a word I've said?!
Her: You spent our entire life savings on dogs
-- Zilla (@GoodZiIIa) August 29, 2016
Me: They're golden retrievers, Karen. They retrieve gold. I did it for us
9. Let's make this a party!
ME: Can I buy you a drink?
-- Consider John frazzled (@FrazzleMyGimp) May 16, 2018
HER: I have a boyfriend.
ME: {counting coins on the table} He can only get something small then.
10. Pawncle Doggo.
Wee guy pointed at my dug and said to his maw "nice doggy" then pointed at me and went "that's his dad." Technically though, as my dug used to stay with my granny and granda and they referred to themselves as his maw and da, the dug is actually my uncle
-- 🇯🇵 McQueer/マックイエー (@ChrisMcQueer) May 22, 2018
11. Some people just want to watch the world burn.
When the wrong number texts me pic.twitter.com/hClW1yDLdP
-- not karley 🍻 (@Itskarleytime) April 9, 2018
12. Can you please come see me in my office, Jerry?
I went out of town for a few days and came home to my dog who seems to want to have a word with me about it. pic.twitter.com/cpXH6IFuhB
-- Max Miller (@RuinMyWeek) March 19, 2018
13. We all make mistakes.
*takes 5 more shots*
-- βalego• (@RL_blahneh) ١٠ فبراير ٢٠١٨
liver: wyd
brain: wyd
stomach: wyd
me to an ex: wyd
from CollegeHumor: Pictures https://ift.tt/2uhn56p
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