Shutterstock
Real life isn't really SUPPOSED to have plot twists - things in most peoples' lives run according to plan, with no major surprises or anything of that sort coming up....except in a few cases, where secret families or ironic twists completely changet the game. That's why this r/AskReddit thread intrigued us - all the excitement and suspense of an M. Night Shyalaman movie, but without the awkward cameo from the director himself!
1. M. Night Shyamalan's The Job (from Contorto103)
Years ago my company was slowly going under so I was looking for other jobs. I got a job with another company and put in my two weeks with my manager.
Me: "I've been offered another job and I'm taking it. I'm putting in my notice."
Manager: "Oh, well we hate to lose you. Do you mind me asking where you will be going?"
Me: "I'm going to [company]."
Manager: "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit..."
Me: "..."
Manager: "I applied for that position too."
Me: "I'm sorry to tell you that you didn't get it."
2. M. Night Shyamalan Presents: Secret Family (from achybreakyballs)
My grandfather's funeral. He was always a fairly reserved and distant father as far as I understood. Would fit the stereotype of a northern dockworker who comes home expecting dinner to be in the table and then goes to the pub all evening via the bookies.
Anyway, an unsurprising heart attack later, we're all gathered for his funeral. We're a big, but close family so we know everyone, including his friends. However, one guy turns up, about the same age as my dad and his siblings who nobody knows.
Long story short, turns out it was my grandfather's son. From another family. From another marriage. That went on for as long as his marriage to my grandmother. My grandfather had maintained two marriages over 40 years, having 7 children with my grandmother and just the one with this other woman. They knew about our family and kept away and apparently my grandmother knew about them but kept quiet.
Turns out he wasn't going to the pub every night.
3. M. Night Shyamalan's Mystery Pregnancy (from Oberon_Swanson)
The one guy I worked with was having a baby. He told me about his gf, "yeah she's pretty big but she's amazing, she's the one for me." I didn't know him very well but as he talked about the pregnancy and so forth and I gave him encouraging words and how his life was going to change so much we bonded a bit. His baby was going to be born right before Christmas, he missed our work xmas party because his baby was being born! We expect him to be gone for paternity leave, but he shows up a few days later. I feared the worst, that the baby had died.
It turned out his girlfriend was lying about being pregnant to spend more time with him. I didn't think much of it at the time, but the fact that he brought up she was fat for no reason must have meant she was so fat you couldn't tell whether she was pregnant or not. She showed him someone else's ultrasounds, they talked about what they would name their baby, how they'd handle taking care of it, all that shit.
I don't know what she thought was gonna happen when nine months passed and no baby. I guess it's good she came clean though, a more diabolical person would have faked a miscarriage or something. But that was seriously messed up. Shortly after the dude left so I don't really know how he handled it.
4. From the Mind of M. Night Shyamalan, Cars 4 (from ronearc)
Little town I grew up in had these two car dealerships on opposite sides of town - one Chevy, one Ford.
They were bitter rivals. Attack ads, shit talking salesman, billboard wars, you name it.
When the owner of the Chevy dealership died, it came out he'd also owned the Ford dealership by way of a shell company. No one saw that coming, including a lot of the higher ups who worked at the dealerships.
5. M. Night Shyamalan's Trio (from drsameagle)
Worked at a small company summers during college. Two dudes that work there (Mike and John) are best friends since high school, and Mike is getting married to his high school sweetheart.
Nine months after the wedding, the girl has a baby. And it looks nothing like Mike but a lot like John. And she reveals that she had sex with John on her wedding day before she actually got married. She divorces Mike, marries John the next day, and Mike and John are not friends any more.
6. From Executive Producer M. Night Shyamalan, The Thot (from LizzbaWest)
I was seeing a guy from tinder for a couple of months but it fizzled out and we stopped talking. I was on tinder again shortly after and matched with a girl (I'm bi) who told me to follow her on insta. I noticed the tinder guy also followed her so I ask how she knows him, she hits me with "he was dating my best friend for ages but they broke up a couple weeks ago because he was fucking some girl from tinder"
7. From Screenwriter M. Night Shyamalan, The Manager (from nataxradiator)
I once had a job interview. It was very early in my career and I was trying to move 500 miles to a new place. I built prototypes and brought samples of my work. It was a 9 hour drive, but everyone seemed so enthusiastic that I figured it was a lock.
I did not get the job. I found another job in the area and took it. 6 months later they called and asked me to interview for the job above the one I had applied for. I was given an offer on the spot and worked there almost a decade. In the first few months the people there told me the guy who's job I had (who would have been my boss if he hired me initially) had actually said the samples and work I did was beyond him and he didn't want an employee who knew more than him. Well, I guess he doesn't have that problem since they fired him and replaced him with me.
8. Executive Co-Producer M. Night Shyamalan Presents: 2mor (from Torien0)
I knew a woman who was going through divorce proceedings with her husband. He was always argumentative and borderline abusive towards her, certainly always shouting and demeaning.
Then, just as the divorce was entering it's final stages he very suddenly died.
His autopsy showed that he had a massive undiagnosed brain tumour which had been physically altering his personality. His wife felt all kinds of guilty afterwards and took it out on everyone she talked to and lost a lot of friends in the process.
9. From the Director of The Sixth Sense (M. Night Shyamalan), Tijuana Memories (from bag_tht_shit)
My mom and a gal pal went to Mexico for break during college. They had a great time. While boarding the return flight her friend says, " sorry, I'm staying" and runs off.
My mom hears from her a few weeks later after not being able to contact her at all ( this was the 70s, ig long distance calls and phones were scarse) Turns out her friend been sneaking off nights and fucking the hotel gardener. She loves him and stayed in Mexico..
That's all my mom knows. Hopefully they lived happily ever after.
10. M. Night Shyamalan's The Whatzit (from LostInSomebodysMind)
When I was a teen some 25 years ago, I played trumpet in the school band. We did a Halloween parade, but I had nothing to dress in costume for. I decided on a large black sheet with a hole in the top for my huge pony tail to stick out from the top in all its glory of crazy frizzy poof of curls, and a hole for my face and arms to stick out. I got a lot of "Dafuq are you supposed to be?" I don't know, a whazit I suppose.
Anyway, after the parade, my mother wanted to see my locker before leaving just to surprise check for anything not allowed. We pass by the auditorium and notice a talent show just beginning. Mom pressured me to enter playing my trumpet. In this weird whazit costume no less.
By the time I was to go on, I still had no clue what to play. I felt silly in my Halloween costume getup when nobody else was in costume unless they were dancing or a magician act.
I walked down the aisle towards the stage with trumpet in hand, contemplating what to do in my nervousness. Heard whispers among the crowd, as I climbed the little three steps of stairs up on the stage, I trip and fall up the remaining two stairs. I'm so clumsy.
So I stand up and play it off like I meant to do that. Began acting silly and tooting my horn like a duck. Did a silly dance to an improv version of the most basic song to play, Hot Cross Buns/Three Blind Mice.
Ripples of of kids are giggling in the audience. I see my mother's face contorted in displeasure that I'm not being serious enough to win this. Too bad Mom, this is my time to shine in all my goofy glorious weirdness.
I wiggle my topknot poof, and play a few jazzy bits of songs some older folks should know.
Then to finish off, I act like I'm swimming a bit and begin playing "Under The Sea" from The Little Mermaid I had learned the year before. End it with pretending to drown as I left back down the stairs without falling.
Mom took me out in the hall to have her fit for about 10 mins while the last contestants finish the show.
She then goes off to look thru my locker while I put away my trumpet and prepare to leave. I wait for her by the auditorium exit. They begin announcing the winners.
I won first place.
Suck it, Mom.
from CollegeHumor: Pictures https://ift.tt/2LvVw0z
0 التعليقات: