Twitter can be a rough place - there's lots of harrassment, Nazis, threats, and general arguing and drama that you find in most places online. But also? Some pretty funny people, making some pretty funny tweets. Here are some of the best ones lately:
1. Smalltown America, where you'll probably get married to someone if you just hang around long enough
you ever just see people from your hometown that start dating and it's so random that you're like "damn ok they've really run out of people over there"
-- jodie (@jodieegrace) July 30, 2018
2. "I love movies....moving images, accompanied with sound. I love seeing characters say dialogue. The best."
has Tom Cruise seen a movie? pic.twitter.com/9Li0zAq1YB
-- Ryan Perez (@ryguyperez) July 30, 2018
3. The 90s were a much simpler time
There's a new Mission Impossible out this weekend so I just wanted to take this opportunity to point out that in the first one Tom Cruise, a superspy, is searching for a person named Max so he looks up "https://t.co/ppDD6DH2mx" pic.twitter.com/V3yabhzLxM
-- Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) July 30, 2018
4. ...and have a 1 in 20 chance of wild success, instead of our normal 0 in 20 chance.
DND allows you to play out even the most impossible fantasies, such as:
-- this is a FAMOUS ducktales blog now (@Bouuvine) July 29, 2018
-Speaking multiple languages
-Traveling with friends
-Being Charismatic
-Waking up Early
-Having money
5. This is a very important survey question, please answer honestly.
You are:
-- b99 (@DailyBrooklyn99) July 28, 2018
⚪️ gay
⚪️ straight
⚪️ bisexual
⚪️ asexual
🔘 my fire (number 2) the one desire (number 3) believe when I say (number 4) i want it that way. TELL ME WHY!?! ain't nothing but a heartache. TELL ME WHY!?! ain't nothing but a mistake (now number 5...)
6. Microsoft used to be SO metal before they sold out
Who doesn't remember when Microsoft toured with Pantera in 80-81 pic.twitter.com/TeYduuFUtl
-- Charles Finch (@CharlesFinch) July 28, 2018
7. The "uh" part is definitely correct.
me trying to flirt pic.twitter.com/2bGeL6sB9l
-- Alex Winters (@winterslex) July 29, 2018
8. Harry Potter and the Poorly-Plotted Franchise
Harry Potter and the Special Rock
-- Matt Ley (@Thelaserbearguy) July 28, 2018
Harry Potter and the Don't Room
Harry Potter and his Furry Crime Dad
Harry Potter and the Hot Cup
Harry Potter and the Warm Bird Club
Harry Potter and the Absolutely Nothing Happens
Harry Potter and the Curse of the Sidequests
9. To be fair, that button does LOOK like it would download something pretty cool.
-- non aesthetic things (@PicturesFoIder) July 28, 2018
10. The greatest crossover in film history
-- Nick Wiger (@nickwiger) July 30, 2018
11. Finally, a reboot that would actually make sense in our modern times.
Knight Rider reboot where KITT is actually just an Uber driver named Kit who keeps getting dragged into adventures by Michael to keep his 5-star rating.
-- Les Orchard (@lmorchard) July 27, 2018
12. Spotify mobile, please....please don't do this.
Spotify w/o premium on a laptop: here's an ad. now you can listen to your music again! ☺️♥️🌸
-- joey🍍 (@rougaschmougas) July 25, 2018
Spotify w/o premium on a phone: you buffoon. you absolute fucking oaf. You wanted to listen to music?! I will make you buy premium if I have to throw your corpse into the river. u wi
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