Everyone's Going Days Without Sex And It's Taking a Toll

الخميس، 19 يوليو 2018

Everyone's Going Days Without Sex And It's Taking a Toll

Been a long time since you've done the deed? Join the pal club. We're all out here jotting in our Captain's Log about the struggle. One day we will have sex. Soon. Until then...we must drudge forward.

1. The ice cream man gave me a bit of a weird look

Day 355 without sex: I just spit on my popsicle before I put it in my mouth.
-- tarah (@tarahkelly) July 18, 2018

2. Thank you Papa

Day 46 without sex:
Licked the priests finger when he put the communion bread in my mouth
-- Caolán (@Caolan_Walsh) July 17, 2018

3. Watch out you just ordered from the secret menu and you're not gonna like it

Day 342 without sex: I accidentally told the In-N-Out worker I wanted doggy-style fries instead of animal-style fries.
-- Cyril (@kimgnardashian) July 18, 2018

4. Why don't you come on down from there lil guy and cuddle up

day 489 without sex: the demon i see in the corner of my room when i have sleep paralysis lookin kinda cute now ngl
-- ѕαм ◡̈ (@sxmmie) July 7, 2018

5. This tweet needs Jesus

Day 147 without sex

Made Mac n cheese today wasn't even hungry I just wanted to hear what good pussy sound like again
-- Jimmy Vertus (@ThatKidFvcks) July 17, 2018

6. Well don't leave the mosquito hanging, suck him back

Day 283 without sex: A mosquito sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit
-- Clif Mimosa (@ClifSosa) July 12, 2018

7. Also, I need bumpers on the sides of the lanes please

Day 29 without sex: went bowling just so I could finger something
-- clitoria 🍋 (@_Darthandrew) July 15, 2018

8. This is just dangerous

day 62 without sex: I ate two Popeyes biscuits without water so it could choke me
-- Days Without Sex (@Appreciiationn) July 18, 2018

9. Hell yeah

Day 79 without sex: drove up the 5 just to see some titties pic.twitter.com/x0dfQv7y50
-- my peepee on swole ¨̮ (@jonercaguiat) July 19, 2018

10. Wow you really did didn't you

Day 548 without sex: I used a vacuum to remember what it felt like to get my tiddy sucked on pic.twitter.com/FLCwHok4A6
-- Ariii (@_ariana_13_) July 17, 2018

11. 4 out of 5 dentists agree, this girl freaky

Day 682 without sex, the dentist told me to spit and I swallowed.
-- H A ¡ Z (@haizaintshit) July 18, 2018

12. RIP

Day 1738 without sex: threw the blue shell in Mario Kart while I was already in first place to remember what it's like to get hit from behind
-- jawn (@john_silcox) July 17, 2018

13. You can get it, also can you check out this mole on my back real quick

Day 70 without sex my doctor asked me "are you sexually act

ive" I said why whachu tryna do.
-- Timothot (@k_umezinwa) July 16, 2018

14. Now I must be off, Gaming needs me

day 8635 without sex: i am a gamer.
i am an Online Warrior battling the dark evils that face this world daily.
i have no need for the false gratification of a woman's love.
-- wus poppin jimbo (@BillRatchet) July 18, 2018

15. Can't be out in the woods looking like this, tree

15124 days without sex: tree is bout to get it pic.twitter.com/fwMKUOyIde
-- Healing Hawk (@Raury) July 18, 2018

16. Don't even mind that it's screamed wrong

day 30 without sex: i've been going to starbucks for the past three days straight just to hear somebody scream my name
-- mel (@melissahallas) July 13, 2018