The Office has been off the air for years now, but Rainn Wilson hasn't stopped making us laugh. Yeah, he's in other movies and shows, but we're talkin' Twitter, baby. He churns out some classic tweets all the time that rival classic Dwight quotes. Check out some of his tweets below or his Twitter here. Or do neither, we're not your mothers.
1. Not worn ironically, but strangely with pride.
You're probably too young to remember but in the 80s every day was ugly sweater day.
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) December 7, 2017
2. Roasted your Lexus-driving ass.
Sorry. Rebels don't drive Lexus. pic.twitter.com/ZKRvuoXMbE
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) November 11, 2017
3. Tell me more about this...reading. Is it on Netflix?
Reading: it's like binge-watching words!
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) September 25, 2017
4. Give it time.
Why have hipsters not brought back ironic mullets yet?
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) January 18, 2018
5. Gotta keep 'em moving so they don't settle within your nose.
Those little air vents above your airplane seat exist solely to circulate farts.
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 21, 2018
6. America's favorite pastime. Emphasis on time.
My favorite part of baseball is when the new pitcher comes out & then they wait for awhile & then the catcher goes & talks to him & then the batter takes a break to adjust his crotch and then steps away from home to spit & then more waiting & occasionally a pitch is thrown.
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) March 2, 2018
7. Probably productive things?
What did people do on subways and elevators and toilets before cell phones?
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) March 11, 2018
8. I once again say 'Hello cow' and it gets me in a lot of trouble.
When I see a dog I say "Hello dog." When I see a cat I say "Hello cat." When I see a cow I say "Hello cow." When I see a chicken I say "Hello chicken." When I see a human I quickly avoid eye contact & hope they don't talk to me.
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) April 8, 2018
9. Businesses who are great & provide adequate haircuts at reasonable prices: Clips.
People who were great: Alexander, Gatsby, Santini, Wayne Gretsky. Things: The Wall, Frosted Flakes, Pumpkin, White Shark, The Depression.
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 5, 2018
10. Someone start the funding.
Every city needs to have a free public program to teach old people how to turn the ringers off on their phones.
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) January 27, 2018
11. A glove store is gonna need all the help it can get.
Idea: a glove store called 'Eat, Pray, Glove.'
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) January 10, 2018
12. That drawer is getting RIPPED tho (it's where I keep my chocolate and lard).
Show of hands: how many of you have an old FitBit sitting in a drawer somewhere? ✋️
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) November 2, 2017
13. Kale, the bitcoin of produce.
I wish I had bought stock in kale five years ago. Kale futures maybe?
-- RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) September 15, 2017
from CollegeHumor: Pictures https://ift.tt/2JLJkI1
0 التعليقات: