Recently, MarketWatch published a piece that offered up some financial advice to millennials - namely, that you should have TWICE your annual income in savings by age 35. Given about 80% of millennials are currently in debt (meaning they have net NEGATIVE savings), wages are stagnant, and cost of living is increasing at a shocking rate, the advice seems pretty laughable (at best). I mean - WOULD it be nice if we could all have TWO TIMES our annual income in savings by age 35? ABSOLUTELY. The problem is that the world is set up in a way that makes such a thing incredibly, incredibly difficult for the majority of Americans, many of whom are still swimming in student loan debt, working the "gig economy" to make ends meet, and dealing with rising rent costs every day.
And since we can't really affect any meaningful change to a system powered by money (and, as we established, WE DO NOT HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY), all we can do is laugh and joke about the ACTUAL realities of being 35. Hint: none of it involves having tens of thousands of dollars in savings.
1.
By 35 you should have at least two abandoned blogs, one dormant podcast or streaming channel, three RPG campaigns prepped but never run, and five unfinished novels (graphic, text, or interactive).
-- Daniel Solis • Junk Orbit premieres at Origins (@DanielSolis) May 20, 2018
2.
By age 35 you should have at least two thirds of your hard drive space taken up by recursively nested copies of the hard drives from all your previous computers
-- Alex Kerfoot (@akerfoot) May 20, 2018
3.
By age 35, you should have figured out how to spell "bananas" without having to mentally sing Hollaback Girl
-- Jon "Jon Baker" Baker (@JonBaker) May 20, 2018
4.
By age 35 you should have a junk drawer filled with USB flash drives you're reluctant to throw out because you don't know what's on them but are reluctant to plug in because... you don't know what's on them
-- aloria 🦔 (@aloria) May 20, 2018
5.
By age 35 you should have a chair in your bedroom used only for holding clothes that aren't dirty enough for the laundry but that you're too lazy to put away
-- Shenanigans (@moron_online) May 21, 2018
6.
By age 35 you should run into friends and say "WE SHOULD HANG OUT SOON!" twice a week. You will never hang out. You'll just scream this at each other until one of you dies.
-- Luke Trayser (@trukelayser) May 20, 2018
7.
By the time you're 35 you should be making monthly payments to 17 different streaming services that together almost offer a film library comparable to a brick-and-mortar video store
-- Eric Allen Hatch (@ericallenhatch) May 22, 2018
8.
By age 35 you should have like 2 real friends both of whom live in other states and around 700 online friends with whom your relationship is so tenuous that a simple opinion about a comic book movie could end it instantly.
-- MR'A Stoudemire (@Bahbuto) May 21, 2018
9.
By age 35, you should have a cabinet full of cups and glasses that, in your mind, each have their own specific use, and should make you quietly appalled when a guest uses them for the wrong beverage
-- Schwanzgesicht (@chaensaw) May 20, 2018
10.
by age 35 you should have a kitchen cabinet dedicated entirely to plastic bags that contain other, smaller plastic bags
-- vytas (@peakysblinder) May 20, 2018
11.
By age 35 you should have at least one fork in your cutlery drawer that you just don't like, and actively frown at if you accidentally grab it.
-- Nutella Enchanted (@chrisopotamia) May 20, 2018
12.
By age 35, you should have saved twice as many PDFs of scientific papers as you could possibly read in your remaining lifetime.
-- Chemjobber (@Chemjobber) May 20, 2018
13.
By age 35 you should have a huge box of cables but you can't throw them out because you're pretty sure you still need a couple of them but you're not sure which ones
-- Lori G 🌸 (@LoriG) May 19, 2018
14.
by age 35 you've made your boss a lot of money
-- Kelly Weill (@KELLYWEILL) May 21, 2018
Although, really, this is the most important one:
By age 35, you should have at least 10 framed pictures of Jeff Goldblum in your home.
-- Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears) May 20, 2018
from CollegeHumor: Pictures https://ift.tt/2x1yiwB
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