15 Tweets That Will Get Your Funny Bone Hard

Tweets are good but wading through Twitter is not. Skip all the talk of Laurel and Yanny and how the world is ending, and instead enjoy this specially curated of the best tweets of the day. Enjoy!

1. Sounds kinda tasty: 

jeffrey dahmer: hello *offers a handshake*

cop: I'm not thirsty

-- Marf (@MarfSalvador) May 16, 2018

2. I think it's called a therapist: 

Shazam but for when I don't know why I'm sad

-- Karen Chee (@karencheee) May 14, 2018

3. It's not the worst idea I've ever heard: 

I filled my toilet with rice so now I can drop my phone in all I want 😇

-- Boris Khaykin (@theBorisK) April 15, 2018

4. Optimisim is important: 

my depression followed me from nyc to la which is deeply disappointing but also the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me

-- may wilkerson (@shutupmay) May 15, 2018

5. My two favorite things are finally combined:

So.

No one told you life was gonna be this way... pic.twitter.com/u49fQeNAyz

-- Emerald Demond (@EmeraldDemond) May 16, 2018

6. I love poetry: 

Roses are red
Violets are fly https://t.co/NkHPwkzU1X

-- Ed Yong (@edyong209) May 16, 2018

7. Needs more meme: 

Please help me go viral I need medical care pic.twitter.com/Dvdc3xaeCN

-- Dan Hopper (@DanHopp) May 16, 2018

8. Gross and inspirational is hard to pull off: 

Just got catcalled with "nice hair I wanna put that hair my mouth" So remember- there are still original ideas

-- Cassie Grimaldi (@CassieGrimaldi) May 15, 2018

9. Can't unsee: 

"Rolls Royce" is a much better name for The Pillsbury Doughboy and "The Pillsbury Doughboy" is a much better name for a British luxury car

-- Cullen Crawford (@HelloCullen) May 15, 2018

10. This kid is already cooler than I'll ever be: 

Apparently a local eighth grader won a raffle and got to put something on the junior high marquee. pic.twitter.com/TEaWlZuAE1

-- Popehat (@Popehat) May 15, 2018

11. I've been on Twitter 8 times in the last 5 seconds: 

me: bye twitter

me 45 seconds later: so anyway heres another thought i could've kept to myself

-- venmo: ehjovan (@ehjovan) May 15, 2018

12. Mmmmmmm: 

When you're at a fancy deli. pic.twitter.com/I1SouaTb53

-- Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) May 15, 2018

13. I prefer the dumb dogs, thanks: 

dogs are so intelligent that they can assist the blind with daily tasks.

also dogs:

(camilla_andersen91 IG) pic.twitter.com/SGrXmH7snD

-- Clint Falin (@ClintFalin) May 16, 2018

14. Imagine going to the Geek Squad instead of the doctor:  

you know it's weird that transhumanists think making humans into machines means we'll live forever because i don't have any working devices older than my dog

-- Crowsa Luxemburg (@quendergeer) May 14, 2018

15. There's still time for it to get you: 

as a child i thought i'd have to deal with the bermuda triangle a lot more than i have in my adult life

-- mike (@boy_from_school) May 13, 2018

from CollegeHumor: Pictures https://ift.tt/2Iu7yGk