12 Spicy Tweets That Will Give You Heartburn (Sorry)

الخميس، 9 أغسطس 2018

12 Spicy Tweets That Will Give You Heartburn (Sorry)

Twitter can be a rough place - there's lots of harrassment, Nazis, threats, and general arguing and drama that you find in most places online. But also? Some pretty funny people, making some pretty funny tweets. Here are some of the best ones lately:

1. At least that MFA costs a lot less

in my tinder bio i mention that i have an MFA and i'm pic.twitter.com/nrPYK4A4IP
-- Meredith Jeffers (@MeredithJeffers) August 8, 2018

2. "You'rs fres now"

Genie: You have two wishes left

Me: I wish the letter G was the letter P instead

Penie: And your final wish?

Me: I wish that every E at the end of a word was an S instead

Penis:

Ms: Nics
-- wilson (@arnpriesterw) August 7, 2018

3. This is art that speaks to us all

i cant sleep soooo... pic.twitter.com/hN6yXi1j5i
-- nate (@refinedacne) August 8, 2018

4. Futurama actually didn't go far ENOUGH

ME (WATCHING FUTURAMA IN 2007): a corporate-owned suicide booth? surely the future cannot be that bleak

ME (WATCHING FUTURAMA NOW): no I get it
-- KT NELSON (@KrangTNelson) August 9, 2018

5. You only have to kiss the boss's ass every single day for the rest of your life, that's all.

[evolution of a work email]

FUCK YOU I SPECIFICALLY SAID-

*deletedeletedelete*

If you had taken the time to actually read wha-

*deletedeletedelete*

Apologies, I will be more clear next time :)
-- Das Skoogeth (@Skoogeth) August 7, 2018

6. Remember "books"? Me neither.

The last ten years or something pic.twitter.com/FiFZxSoKxr
-- Pat (@pat_gardner) August 6, 2018

7. "Time to go to that Billy Joel concert."

white ppl love to use the bathroom before leaving a restaurant and come out shaking their hands dry saying "ready to rock and roll??"
-- 27_male_nyc (@25_male_nyc) August 7, 2018

8. Sometimes people can completely destroy you without ACTUALLY insulting you even once. Impressive.

How is your love life going? pic.twitter.com/rGJ8cRAYwR
-- Adele (@adelexxxxxx) August 6, 2018

9. "I'm le tired..."

i hate french girl aesthetics. every photo is some skinny girl with perfect skin and messy hair pretending shes having the time of her life in a coffee shop. wah look at me, life is so breezy and fun. shut the fuck up. ive been in a coffee shop it's ok at most
-- goth spinster (@wowprettylady) August 6, 2018

10. Dennis Rodman is going to have the same reputation as Freud in 200 years.

Absolutely nuts that Freud did a bunch of coke and said "all dudes crank it to their moms" and everyone was like "this man is really on to something"
-- particle dan (@Standard_Tweets) August 6, 2018

11. This is absolutely correct.

every British TV show is named Chumbley Place, is about a little old lady who solves murders, has a budget of $72, has aired nine episodes, and has been on the air since world war ii
-- Tom Pike 🌹 (@StoryTom) August 9, 2018