13 Funny Tweets That'll Be the Best Things You See All Day

الأربعاء، 28 مارس 2018

13 Funny Tweets That'll Be the Best Things You See All Day

The world is a pretty scary, chaotic place most of the time - and honestly, so is social media. That's why we're bringing you only the best of the best, the funniest of the funny, so you can enjoy all the good jokes Twitter has to offer and none of the "everyone sharing incredibly upsetting news stories and yelling at one another."

1. J. Jonah Jameson is the masculine ideal.

Real men don't hit you up late at night demanding photos of your naked body. Real men hit their desks with closed fists demanding photos of Spiderman.
-- Ryan (@Integrity_Guy) March 26, 2018

2. He Is Risen

greetings, prophet pic.twitter.com/nUEsV5xqlj
-- laura j. brown (@laurjbrown) March 26, 2018

3. When visiting other cultures, it's important to speak their language.

Me: hey can I borrow a pencil

goth girl: what?

Me: oh sorry.
🕷 𝔠𝔞𝔫 🦇 ℑ ⛓ 𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔬𝔴 🥀 𝔞 🕸 𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔦𝔩 ☠️

goth girl: 𝔰𝔲𝔯𝔢🗡
-- deathcore danny phantom (@isiahxmartin) March 21, 2018

4. This guy makes a good point.

it's weird that Guillermo del Toro's fish-banging movie isn't the one he called Pacific Rim
-- new caracompass (@polsydzig) March 24, 2018

5. "FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: GET ME THOSE SWEET NUGGZ ASAP"

I ordered Uber Eats for my Grandma to try, and not even a day later she's taken control pic.twitter.com/ji66hKT9Lm
-- decent pigeon (@decentbirthday) March 25, 2018

6. IF YOU DIDN'T WANT STRAIGHT GUYS HITTING ON YOU, WHY WOULD YOU GO OUTSIDE?

straight guy: I'm not homophobic I'm ok with gay guys as long as they don't hit on me

lesbian: I don't want straight guys hitting on me

straight guy:

straight guy: WHAT THE F,UCK
-- Kait 🌱 (@itzzkait) March 24, 2018

7. This needs to be in an EVERY episode of Law & Order

Bro so I had court today and the judge asked this man who drove him cause his license was suspended and he replied "my bitch..." with a straight face😂😂😂. Then after the long silence gone say "oh my bad... My bitch, Your honor"😂😂😂😂 I waited a hour to tweet this I'm still 💀
-- SIRIUSXLEE🔥 (@KeithTheGxd) March 23, 2018

8. Straight-up, this is the best Simpsons meme I've seen in a long time (not including the multitude of Steamed Hams memes, that is)

*gasp* pic.twitter.com/hNR0CuF65o
-- Karen 🦊🌹 (@pixleyamelia) March 25, 2018

9. Calling glasses a "face-bra" is actually pretty accurate.

CONGRATULATIONS your eyes don't work! You can either

-wear a fvcking face-bra that will either be smudgy or broken
-put these FAKE EYE COVERS over your eyeballs which will cause DISCOMFORT PAIN or INFECTION
-pay a lot of money to have lasers cut into your eyemeat
-- 🌼Elle🐱Gato🌼 (@ellle_em) March 23, 2018

10. Meow, I'm your king.

Is this your king?! pic.twitter.com/voW3HVweUR
-- Philip Lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) March 23, 2018

11. El Hopaness Romtic has the best guac.

i'd forgotten all about El Hopaness Romtic, the only image on the internet to make me actually cry with mirth pic.twitter.com/2Zals7iUiB
-- 2 blessed 2 be hopaness (@samga) March 22, 2018