Listen, here at CollegeHumor, all we really want is to make your day a little bit better. The rest of the world is being consumed by chaos and confusion and misery, but here - we just wanna show you some nice tweets. That's all. Enjoy!
1. True love is falling asleep watching Netflix together.
son? i think it's time for the talk". u see, when 2 grownups love each other very, very much, capitalism forces them to work wildly conflicting hours, and the brief pockets of time they do have together are spent too exhausted to enjoy one another's company
-- a (@allisongallaghr) March 10, 2018
2. THIS IS TOO REAL.
This tho pic.twitter.com/Dn5YCl0MhG
-- TY 🏎 (@OutTheOtherEar_) March 20, 2018
3. Fun fact: "UK" isn't an acronym - it's just pronounced "uck"
How the seasons work in the UK:
-- TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) March 18, 2018
Jan - Cold
Feb - Still Cold
Mar - Still cold but snow now
Apr - Rain
May - More rain
Jun - Why is it still raining
July - BEES
Aug - Oh god it is so hot
Sept - I miss the heat
Oct - Heat is simply a memory
Nov - Cold
Dec - Cold but with capitalism
4. Wait 'til Mueller gets his hands on this piece of info.
Huge, if true. pic.twitter.com/3AX9Vb5Rch
-- Crispin Burke (@CrispinBurke) March 18, 2018
5. Please, Snapchat, hear our plea.
Here's what people really want from tech:
-- Tiffany C. Li (@tiffanycli) March 18, 2018
• Instagram - chronological timeline
• Spotify - let us block artists
• Amazon - don't create an inescapable surveillance panopticon
• Facebook - don't end democracy
• Snap - more filters
6. Welp, that's great.
An Islamophobe tried to troll me by sending me a picture of a Quran on fire.
-- Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) February 8, 2018
This was my response:#TrollsInMyDMs pic.twitter.com/MOJGwH2DD0
7. Does anyone have the Devil's number? I'd also like to make this deal.
DEVIL: You shall stay forever young, but this picture of you will bear the marks of your sin!
-- Avery Edison (@aedison) March 18, 2018
DORIAN: Can I hide it?
DEVIL: Well, yes, but--
DORIAN: And there are no other consequences?
DEVIL: This... This picture will become so foul!
DORIAN: Again, probably I'll hide the picture.
8. Algorithms, what's not to love?
- What do we want ?
-- Neon Trotski (@Bluecookie) March 15, 2018
- A chronological instagram feed !
- When do we want it ?
- 2 hours ago !
- 18 hours ago !
- Sponsored post !
- 43 minutes ago !
- 2 hours ago !
- Sponsored post !
- 15 minutes ago !
- Account suggestion !
- 1 hour ago !
- 15 hours ago !
- Sponsored post !
9. Sorry Cam....and probably a few people named Simon.
STARBUCKS, CAN YOU PLEASE TRAIN YOUR EMPLOYEES TO JUST CAPITALISE THEIR 'A'S?! I'M TIRED OF HAVING TO CARRY A CUM LATTE AROUND EDINBURGH. pic.twitter.com/RUKqV4kG0j
-- Vukojebina (@CamashRed) March 14, 2018
10. Don't insult the good name of Ariana Grande by comparing her to the Uruk-Hai who killed Boromir.
"He has the hairstyle of Ariana Grande." --my six-year-old daughter on the uruk-hai Aragorn fights at the end of The Fellowship of the Ring pic.twitter.com/UBR60NVNSa
-- Sean T. Collins (@theseantcollins) March 12, 2018
11. This is the most painfully accurate description of online gaming culture ever written.
[playing fortnite] lol yeah kid U think im a virgin huh? let me put my gf on the mic [same voice 1 octave higher] hello this is ButtonDick1488's girlfriend who is real
-- christian (@nopoweradeinusa) March 11, 2018
12. Inflammable means flammable?! What a country!
welcome to america. heres your paperwork. oh by the way, "duh" and "no duh" mean the same thing. alright, good luck out there
-- jesse farrar (@BronzeHammer) April 15, 2014
from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2IK68bc
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