13 Guys Share Their Most Awkward Boner Story

Every guy will experience hundreds of awkward boners in their lifetime, but these 13 people might have us all topped. Next time one pops up, just remember it could've been worse.

1. LtHarbaughsRaichu -- Not a talk any parent looks forward to. 

So I must have been young and not fully aware of how my body worked yet I suppose, but I have a very distinct memory of my dad telling me one morning that I should take some time and relax before I come downstairs. Apparently I had a habit of coming straight from bed to breakfast -- morning wood and all. Looking back I have no idea how I wasn't conscious of this...

2. -Words-Words-Words- -- Everyone's just wrestling in oversized parkas. 

Freshman year of high school. Wrestling practice. I grabbed a sweatshirt from one of the bigger weight class guys, put it on (it was like a tent on me) and I just got up and left. You don't want to be getting a no reason erection in an all guy catholic high school's wrestling class.

3. nocontroll -- Backpacks, books, whatever you have on you. 

Literally any time I was in middle school and class would end. I have no idea why but the random boners always happened about 20 seconds before the bell.

Lots of walking with my backpack in front of my waist.

4. CypherCam -- I'm fine, kinda mesmerized by the ceiling tiles atm. 

Similar situation here. German class in 9th grade. We were taking a test and I was the first one to finish it. Teacher notices me sitting at my desk with my pencil down and just staring into the distance.

"You can bring your test to my desk if you're done, Cypher."

"I'm fine. I'll wait."

5. Uchigatan -- Now he automatically gets boners any time he's around a racetrack. 

I used to get a boner in the bath back before I knew what it was, and I raced hotwheels up and down my dick

Those were awkward times.

6. magnitude-of-light -- Turns out ugly crying is his fetish. 

Not a guy, but one time I had a really stressful day of work (when I used to work customer service). Been yelled at, degraded, threatened for nearly ten hours straight, my whole body hurt from exhaustion. I went home and ugly cried on my boyfriend's lap. A minute later his penis poked me in the face through his sweatpants. He looked so horrified and frozen I burst out laughing. We both had a good laugh over it!

7. thudly -- Those are some sexy-ass saws, tho. 

I sat down at my computer one day to have a good wank. Had my pants down around my ankles, had a clean-up towel on hand. But a couple of minutes in, my dad called and asked me to look something up for him on Google. So I told him I'd call him back in 2 minutes. I minimized the porn and opened a new browser window. 

That's when my roommate walked in, and saw me sitting there apparently jerking off to a menu of circular saws. It was tough to explain.

8. jewzak -- Holy boners. 

I have NO idea why this happened, and I imagine I'm gonna get some weird comments, but as a teenager I would get one almost EVERY time my family pulled into church.

I would always take a while to get out of the car and say something like "oh my Bible is in the trunk" or something so I could do the old waistband trick before walking in.

9. Timpano_Drops -- 'My penis turned to metal' is the funniest sentence you will read all day. 

Got my first boner (while awake at least) at my 10th birthday. Don't know what the reason was, but sometimes dicks don't need a reason. Got upset when I couldn't push it back in and started crying. When my grandma asked why I was crying I proclaimed to her (and everyone there) "my penis turned to metal". Luckily, it's only talked about at every single family gathering we have had after that, so the shame is limited.

10. Love2build108 -- Yep, that qualifies as most awkward. 

As a pall bearer in my grandfather's funeral

11. oniiesu -- Embrace the boner. 

Fell asleep in gym class waiting for the teacher to show up and take attendance. Woke up a few minutes later to some laughing and discovered my dick was tenting proudly in my gym shorts. Tucked it under my waistband and went back to sleep. Nothing ever came of it until senior year when someone asked "aren't you the guy who got a boner in gym and played it off like it was nothing? That was impressive."

Just goes to show kids, if an embarrassing situation comes up, just own it and move on.

12. iScoopPoop -- I have so many questions about this kid. 

Not mine but in middle-school there was this super weird kid in class who was always doing random bizzaro things. He used to draw anime girls but only their feet, walked around in a neck brace for no reason, and carried a buttlerfly net with him everywhere. Super weird guy. Anyway, during a class presentation, he wore his PE shorts and proudly displayed his erection to the whole class. He did the presentation as if this normal. Everyone was gossiping about it at school for years afterwards.

13. OFraggy -- Yeah, pretty much. 

high school. all four years.

from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2nTvs5E