12 Twitter Gems Mined From Deep Within The Twitter Dungeons

Are we in 1850s San Francisco? Cuz we've just struck gold, baby.

1. Point made.

you: Asian names are hard
you: I love the music of Tchaikovsky
you: Schwarzenegger movies are great
you: my fav Targaryen is Daenerys

-- 혼혈 (@noahjussi) September 13, 2017

2. The night of your life or a plain ole phone?

PSA: The new iPhone costs $999.

The entire Cracker Barrel menu costs $887.71

...make smart choices.

-- Lo (@laurenelizlane) September 13, 2017

3. Again?!

genie: please no
millipede: more legs

-- Tami Cru (@TamiCru) August 29, 2017

4. It's ok, we understand. Get well and keep wiping.

my doctor needs me to keep a log of how many times i wiped my ass but i dont have a pen & paper so i have to do it hgere. sorry
9/13/17: 310

-- wint (@dril) September 14, 2017

5. That is a very dad move.

My dad washed this paper plate so he can use it again http://pic.twitter.com/KLXrJO4vBb

-- Hot Dog Wiener (@googleymoogley) September 14, 2017

6. WOW THIS IS BIG

OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THE NEW STAR WARS TRAILER http://pic.twitter.com/spYhNeKF04

-- Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) September 13, 2017

7. They know exactly what they're doing.

almost lost my shit at the store today http://pic.twitter.com/GL6bbxvaTz

-- DOOM ON THE GO (@seaenemy) September 12, 2017

8. I love the idea of Mary Poppins Court.

[in mary poppins court]
clerk:call the witness for the prosecution
*spoonful of sugar walks in*
medicine: oh, shit

-- GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) September 13, 2017

9. DAMNIT, Neil. Not now.

WAITRESS: How do you like your eggs
ME: Sunny side up
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: *spins around* Actually the sun doesn't go up or down, earth rota

-- Michael, still here (@Home_Halfway) May 9, 2017

10. This would be very useful. Get rid of those $$$$$ restaurants that we will never be going to in our lifetimes.

Someone should make a food app that connects to your bank account and only lists restaurants you can afford, could call it Welp

-- shut up, mike ginn (@shutupmikeginn) April 12, 2015

11. Maybe?

me: wow juliet was dumb I would never kill myself over a boy

also, me: he hasn't responded to my text in 45 seconds, should I eat glass

-- Ziwe (@ziwe) September 14, 2017

12. RIP your grans.

Seen a boy in Asda with a bunch of flowers and a woman said "aw whos the lucky girl" and he legit turned roond and was like "ma grans deed"

-- Emma Forrest (@emmaahelyerr) September 13, 2017

from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2x7mgzE