Every now and then, there comes a Twitter thread tale so compelling and important that we have no choice but to make an entire post dedicated to it. This thread - the tale of an office lunch stolen from the refridgerator that was captured on a security tape - is definitely one of those. It has it all - intrigue, mystery, twists, and the gravest crime imaginable in modern office culture: stealing AND wasting someone else's lunch.
CHAPTER 1: THE TAPE
Co-worker got his lunch stolen and they've agreed to let him watch the security camera tape. This is the most excited I've ever been at any job ever. Ever.
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
The lunch in question was shrimp fried rice which means this escalates from a misdemeanor to felony no doubt
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
Case facts:
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
Lunch was in fridge for less than an hour before it vanished. No shrimp smell remnants in the microwave or kitchen area. This was a professional hit no doubt
HOLY SHIT. He's back. He watched the tape. He knows who did it.
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
CHAPTER 2: THE CRIMINAL
So the man who's lunch was stolen sits across from me. The person who stole his lunch sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME! She left for the day before the investigation started
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
According to the video, this psychopath DIDNT EVEN EAT THE FOOD. She took it out of the fridge and threw and buried it in the trash
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
Her motives remain completely unknown. In lieu of what he saw on the tape he has decided to not to press the matter anymore. I can't say I blame him. We don't know what this women's fully capable of
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
Points to clarify: he bought the shrimp fried rice around 11:30am (carry out) and put it in the fridge to chill until he takes lunch at noon. So she had exactly a 30min window of time to do what she did. There was no intention of microwaving the food
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
Update: Ok so when dude watched the video with HR they asked "what do you want to do about it?" he told them he was solely interested in who did it and that he didn't want to be responsible for someone getting fired
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
CHAPTER 3: ANTICIPATION
After charges were dropped, HR sent a company wide email about not stealing people's lunches. She is scheduled to arrive at work in 20min. My blood is on cocaine
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
She has walked into the room. And the room is dead silent. Dead fucking silent yet there is a palpable explosive energy pulsing through everyone but her
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
From the moment she walked in, I've just been staring at her. Watched her open her email and now she clicked on the goddamn HR email! Holy fuck strap in - here we go!
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
I can't move. I simply cannot move, anything could happen right now
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
CHAPTER 4: THE CONFRONTATION
!!!! After seeing the HR email she says out loud "woah. Someone stole a lunch? Who would do something like that?" !!! I may have to run out of this room
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
After she said that, shrimp guy responds "well yea it's not ok to throw someone's food away" we're all about to start screaming
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
This shits about to get crazier. After he says that she goes "oh it was your lunch?" BEAT she continues "well why would you go to HR about that?!"
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
She has simultaneously denied her involvement AND called the guy who saved her job a snitch!!!!!!!!!
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
Dude just sighed and went back to work after she said what she said. She looks frightwningly calm
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
CHAPTER 5: THE SURPRISE ENDING
I'll keep updating if anything else occurs but all I can say is that EVERYONE in the office from the janitor to the founder knows what she did. She now carries an invisible scarlet letter
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
This is real. This is happening. We know who did it but we don't know why. It's a post production company so we're in fact open today. She's been sitting 3ft from me this whole time
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
Unbeknownst to the guy and the woman, I just ordered 3 shrimp fried rice plates for lunch and will be hand delivering them
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
She took the fried rice from me with a big smile on her face. She's eating it and loving it. This is utter ruthlessness
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
"I LOVE shrimp fried rice" - the thief
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
I wish I could close this up with a neat little bow, but, it appears that we may never know why she did it. Maybe she doesn't know she did it. Either way I'm now forced to work 40hrs a week next to a cold blooded individual
-- Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
Just a reminder to protect your office lunches at all costs - you don't know how many of your co-workers could be shrimp fried rice-wasting sociopaths.
from CollegeHumor: Pictures https://ift.tt/2pW1qOS
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