We're all lonely and awkward and full of regrets - but articulating it like that is sad and painful. Thankfully, the internet gods created Twitter to address this very issue - so that we could use those 140 characters to make self-deprecating, relatable jokes to hide the pain of existence.
1.
friend: how are things?
-- keely flaherty (@flahertykeely) August 25, 2016
me: things are good!
narrator: things were not good
2.
How to adult:
-- Tony (@Tmoney68) December 29, 2015
At work? Want to go home.
At home? Want to do something.
Doing something? Want to be in bed.
In bed? Don't sleep.
3.
I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.
-- Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) June 15, 2012
4.
Movies:"Of course I recognize you, in 2009 we exchanged a glance"
-- Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) July 4, 2016
Real life:"apparently that chatty old lady in the elevator was my grandma"
5.
my parents, at 27: married, with a kid
-- Alex Manley (@alex_icon) August 24, 2016
me, at 27: i prefer ordering pizza Online so i don't have to ever interact with a human person
6.
ME, TEXTING MY CRUSH: have any plans tonight?
-- chuuch (@ch000ch) April 30, 2016
HER: no not yet!! i'm totally free and available
ME: ok well have a good night whatever u do
7.
[at applebee's bar]
-- Mastodan (@dannyhottubs) March 25, 2015
Bartender: Hey man how's it goin?
Me: Oh hi my life is fantastic that's why I'm at the Applebee's bar.
8.
I want to feel about anything the way dogs feel about Outside
-- Patricia Lockwood (@TriciaLockwood) December 21, 2012
9.
When parents say to kids "go to ur room & think about what you've done" it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult
-- pat tobin (@tastefactory) September 18, 2015
10.
me: im a pretty laid back guy
-- Mike F (@mikefossey) January 18, 2015
doctor: actually Mike you have three different diseases from stress and another two from handling it so poorly
11.
So much of my adult life has been spent pretending I wasn't going for a high five
-- nina gann (@ninatreemonkey) January 20, 2016
12.
what about watching eight dog riding skateboard videos in a row makes youtube ads think i'm in any position in life to buy a fucking lexus
-- rob whisman (@robwhisman) April 10, 2016
from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2bMNUpY
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