1.
As a single person, I have the right to renew my wows. That is, every time asks me if I'm ever getting married, I go WOWwww until they leave
-- Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 13, 2016
2.
*filling out my online dating profile*
-- Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) January 14, 2016
[SEX:] yes
[AGE:] modern
[SEXUAL ORIENTATION:] south
3.
My self-esteem is holding steady at "this guy is too hot to be hitting on me, probably wants to rob me."
-- Joel Kim Booster (@ihatejoelkim) June 2, 2016
4.
I'm single but not "I wanna fuck a gorilla" single
-- Siobhan Thompson (@vornietom) June 28, 2015
5.
Not only did I not feel the earthquake, I haven't felt anything since Sophie said "I don't think I can be your girlfriend anymore"
-- Paul Isakson (@paulytamale) June 10, 2016
6.
Your soulmate is definitely somewhere at the boring party you're currently at. Keep searching! Check the kitchen.
-- Andrew Michaan (@AndrewMichaan) June 12, 2016
7.
One way to get more people to look at your online dating profile is to wear a black and blue dress that looks white and gold.
-- Tim Siedell (@badbanana) February 27, 2015
8.
the best part of being single is how much further away that puts me from my biggest fear: a public proposal
-- Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) November 29, 2015
9.
ME: im sick of being single
-- Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) November 19, 2015
FRIEND: want me to set u up with someone?
ME: absolutely not, i'd have to put on pants & talk. no thank u
10.
Being alone is the single greatest, most relaxing, most painful experience in all of life
-- Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) February 20, 2016
11.
a friend once told me "in every relationship, one person is suffering and one person is bored." pretty sure being single is both at once
-- Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 24, 2016
12.
Single's lonely. Relationships are disappointing. The only truly great relationship status is "just found out crush is also interested"
-- Shea (@sheastrauss) April 9, 2015
13.
Sometimes your ex is so stupid, it makes being single worth it.
-- Jasmine Pierce (@jasminecomedy) July 28, 2014
14.
I'm single and looking for someone with air conditioning.
-- Beth Stelling (@BethStelling) September 9, 2015
15.
I know how you feel, weather. I'm single and bitter too. http://pic.twitter.com/1hzJM2zn67
-- Jordan Wieleba (@jordancomedy) November 12, 2014
16.
One similarity between men and women is that a box of kleenex by their bed means the same thing: I'm single.
-- ImagineMaggieHappy (@IAmMaggieMull) January 22, 2013
17.
sometimes being single is lame and other times i get ripped and watch the emporers new groove at 3 pm and no one gives me any flack
-- mean blanca (@christinefriar) January 17, 2016
from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/21iziAr
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