1. Let me see where I broke you, please
Wish Twitter did a thing when someone unfollows u it shows u the tweet where they thought right enough is enough canna be arsed with ur pish
-- Jabalí (@JMRABZ) January 9, 2016
2. And it never will be :(
Ma maw is actual still diggin me up about a gaff party a had 5 years ago literally just turned round tae me n went "that wheely bins no been the same" hahahaha gee me STRENGTH
-- IRAldo (@aldomax_) December 11, 2017
3. Just enjoy it yourself you big ol' freak
Saying the pools freezin oan holiday n theres always sumcunt awready in the pool that says "its awryt once you're in"
-- Ronnie (@ronnie_mackay) November 23, 2017
4. Didn't know this bus was being driven by THE GRINCH
I've just witnessed a hoard people berate a bus driver into letting a guy bring his 7ft tree on the bus by shouting "where's your Christmas spirit, don't be a cunt"
-- Sarah Manavis (@sarahmanavis) December 4, 2017
5. Give them back, and we won't press charges
Somecunt's stole aw the windaes aff that house http://pic.twitter.com/prc2xpfYWM
-- Colin (@SundayMorninCol) October 15, 2016
6. Chill, Cersei
Went to hold Jamie's hand n he's just shouted 'wit ye dain we're brother n sister' on the train and people are looking at me 😂😂😂
-- JackieMcallister (@_JacMcallister) November 17, 2017
7. Answer your question?
Just asked this ebayer where an eyeliner I've ordered is 🙃🙃🙃🙃 pic.twitter.com/
-- Alex Tierney (@ALLY_TIERNEY) August 11, 2016
8. Mmmm yeah I can see it now
Wanting a 2L Capri-sun that a can hang above ma bed n just slurp fuck oot it lit a big 6 foot hamster
-- Gaul Plancy (@paul_glancy) February 27, 2017
9. See, they're served in such tiny cans I figured how could they be that big
a feel like the biggest shock ae ma life was discovering that some tuna are actually fucking massive, like bigger than andre the giant, this shoulda been taught in school then a wouldny be so terrified at the thought ae big thick shoals ae andre the giants
-- Butsay (@Butsay_) December 2, 2017
10. That's why everyone does it. Tryna be Dave Mirra
Does heroin automatically make ye gid on a bike cause junkies are class on the hings
-- stuart (@_stuartlindsay_) November 28, 2017
11. As a redhead, I need to be invested in my fellow ginger's successes
it's heavy weird how folk ma age or younger are right inty the royal family, like go watch some films, stick on the radio, get obsessed wae somecunt who actual does hings n no some ancient inbred lizard family, fucking benjamin button
-- Butsay (@Butsay_) December 12, 2017
12. Imagine how stinky that thing must be
star wars battlefront 2 looks amazin but ad rather no havety then pay like £60 odd just for a sniff ae yoda's left shoe
-- Butsay (@Butsay_) November 23, 2017
13. Wonder if this was the same bus the Christmas man was tryna get on
I've just witnessed a 4 y/o hide from her mum behind bus seats and then jumped out and gave a junkie a fright by accident to which he screamed "fuck of yah spooky midget" and it's safe to say I laughed so hard a little pee almost came out
-- Poppy Smith (@_Poppy_Smith_) November 29, 2017
14. Cucumbers > Pickles
Just found out pickles are just cucumbers shrunk in vinegar??! A thought it was an actual proper vegetable. Dae cunts know this? Am a stupit? Feel like ma minds been blown an a dinny even like pickles
-- Goudie (@Goudie15) December 10, 2017
15. Be in touch soon
aye perfect gran cheers👌🏽 http://pic.twitter.com/haV0UJ31Ws
-- Brodley (@aaron_brodley7) November 29, 2017
16. Have you ever asked your bitch for other bitches?
"What can I get my bf for Christmas? He already has me" STOAP IT. Get him fucking earphones so he doesny have to listen to ur minging patter mate 😴
-- Demi (@xdeminess) December 2, 2017
17. This is the sound of a true artist
@carcus_10
from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2yR6WEZ
0 التعليقات: