11 Hilarious Tweets That Will Give You A Light Chuckle

الاثنين، 18 ديسمبر 2017

11 Hilarious Tweets That Will Give You A Light Chuckle

1. It must be done.

I don't really play video games but even I know what I'm supposed to do here http://pic.twitter.com/1jInZ2Y80i
-- KT NELSON (@KrangTNelson) December 14, 2017

2. I'm actually cool with this.

Sorry folks, M&Ms cut a deal with the FCC, this is the only pornographic image allowed on the internet now: http://pic.twitter.com/17sYwQsPJS
-- Pixelated Ho Ho Hoat (@pixelatedboat) December 15, 2017

3. Oh god, he is a horrific nightmare creature. And we let him TEACH OUR CHILDREN.

the implication here is that the face breathes
which means it has lungs and blood http://pic.twitter.com/fymeQTIGrr
-- Heather Anne Campbell (@heathercampbell) December 14, 2017

4. Good point. Why?

Me: Let's go to the store.
5 yo: Why?
M: For food.
5: Why?
M: So we can eat.
5: Why?
M: To stay alive.
5: Why?
M: I have no idea.
-- Jackie Bouvier (@jackiembouvier) January 19, 2017

5. Wow Baby Jesus was just a watermelon, after all.

Still love that once seen this cannot be unseen. http://pic.twitter.com/8NpAbAUNVs
-- Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) December 15, 2017

6. Nothing to see here. Fits right in.

When your customizable character is in a cutscene http://pic.twitter.com/51JNAUqWYa
-- Steggy (Jeff Stegner) (@Stegnah) December 14, 2017

7. Forget lbs., lets go by pumpkin measurements from now on.

~what size is your baby?~

1-4 weeks: sesame seed
8-17 weeks: apple
18-31 weeks: coconut
32-40 weeks: watermelon
41-89 weeks: pumpkin
90-208 weeks: 1.5 - 2 pumpkins
209-317 weeks: 57 pumpkins
-- Elvish on a Shelvish (@_ElvishPresley_) December 15, 2017

8. Fool me once.

Tattooed a captcha above my vagina so i never accidentally sleep with a spam bot AGAIN
-- Megan Amram (@meganamram) December 11, 2017

9. Technically, it is very light cardio so you're not wrong.

I'm at the point where just putting on workout clothes feels like cardio
-- Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) December 15, 2017

10. From now on, calling someone a dog is how you show affection.

It's weird that calling someone a dog is still an insult when they're literally the only things we all love.
-- Eliza Skinterklaas (@elizaskinner) December 14, 2017

11. The fun way to breakup.

pickup lines are ok but BREAKUP lines are fantastic:

dang girl, are you my homework? because i reeeaaally don't want to do you anymore.

dang girl, are you college? because i've spent a lot of time and money on you and honestly i'm pretty disappointed with my experience so far.
-- jake (@squidslippers) November 10, 2017