10 Reasons Why Mike Primavera Should Be Your Twitter Hero

السبت، 7 مايو 2016

10 Reasons Why Mike Primavera Should Be Your Twitter Hero

Our Twitter hero of the day is Mike Primavera (@primawesome) - and the next 10 tweets should prove that he should be YOUR Twitter hero too.

1.

Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words.
-- Mike Primavera (@primawesome) December 4, 2013

2.

I wish there was a way to keep in touch with dogs I meet outside of grocery stores.
-- Mike Primavera (@primawesome) January 26, 2016

3.

Every one of Johnny Depp's scarves is from a magician he's killed.
-- Mike Primavera (@primawesome) March 28, 2015

4.

I don't know what a trap queen is but my neighborhood has a raccoon problem and I could use all the help I can get.
-- Mike Primavera (@primawesome) October 13, 2015

5.

The Hulk is pretty scary for a guy in capris.
-- Mike Primavera (@primawesome) May 14, 2015

6.

Me: "Hey you forgot to close the door! Were you born in a barn?"
Jesus: "Yes."
Me: "Oh, it's you. Sorry, Jesus."
Jesus: "I forgive you."
-- Mike Primavera (@primawesome) May 15, 2012

7.

Tommy Lee Jones always looks like his son just told him he wants to ride unicycles professionally.
-- Mike Primavera (@primawesome) January 12, 2015

8.

I'm an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me.
-- Mike Primavera (@primawesome) May 17, 2014

9.

"Bro check out that DILP."
"Where? Wait what's a DILP?"
"Dog I'd Like to Pet."
-- Mike Primavera (@primawesome) August 23, 2014

10.

Just told a guy talking on his phone in the library to shut the fuck up, and everyone applauded me, so I told them to shut the fuck up too.
-- Mike Primavera (@primawesome) October 17, 2011