11 Uber Drivers Share The Most F*cked Up Stuff They've Overheard

Driving for a car service is great if you like being a fly on the wall of society. Except  most of the time, society is super shitty and bad. If you don't believe me, check out these 11 stories from drivers (and some passengers) and you will lose all faith, immediately.

1. number-juan --  Saturdays and also the rest of the days are for the boys, now.

Drive uber for a few months while in my last semester of college.

Driving in a college town, the majority of passengers are drunk college students so you can imagine I've heard tons of weird shit. I'll list off a few:

• pick up a group of girls from a bar, and a mini-fight broke out in the back of my car over a guy that 2 of them just found out they both made out with

• heard a drunk guy break up with his girlfriend for realizing he "has more fun when he's with the boys"

2. PM_me_yer_booobies -- Feces face masks. What.

My mate drives Uber. Most of his stories are the passengers dirty talking to each other in the back after a night out, obviously heading for a one night stand.

He says it's in his car that couples often realise they have very mismatched fetishes... Best story I remember was that he had a guy straight up get out of the car and walk away while stopped at traffic lights after the dirty chat got a little out of control and the girl told him she wanted to shit on his chest and use it to give them both feces face masks.

Then again it may not have been her fetish, she might have just decided she wanted rid of the guy.

3.  YouMightGetIdeas -- Every customer service job makes you hate humanity. 

Not an Uber Driver but I work for Uber and my job is to call Riders and drivers involved in "heavy cases" (incidents that go beyond regular customer support). So yeah, all the good stuff. Racism, accidents, sexual misconduct,verbal altercations, Fistfights to name a few. It's not uncommon for riders to be talking how they'd bone the driver, or talk about whether he'd be a good lay. That's the more lighthearted stuff. This job makes you hate humanity though. Some clients are just despicable. Edit: spelling.

4. arkaneinc -- It's true. Those idiots were meant to be. 

Had two passengers back to back from the same bar about an hour apart. Similar conversations from both people about their night. 

Picked up the guy first:

While driving him home with his friends he was bragging about how he had lied to a girl about being a doctor and they had sex in the bathroom. He gave her a fake number and they all were laughing about how stupid she was.

Hour later. Same bar. Pick up a group of female passengers. One girl starts talkin about how she hooked up with a doctor in the bathroom and how she totally pulled off being a nurse. She was saying that she threw around some medical terms she heard on TV and he ate it up. She gave him a fake phone number and they were all laughing.

I'm in the front seat driving and laughing my ass off. Laughing that both these people had to lie to each other for no reason what so ever. That they both were probably meant for each other (possibly not) but they'll never know because they gave each other fake phone numbers. 

Most my stories aren't about what I've overheard but what I've witnessed so not on topic.

5. rifts -- Sneaky bastard. 

Not talked about but did.

One of my first Uber passengers, this 14-15 year old kid. Seemed nice. I drove him a few miles roughly a $15 fair. A few houses before his stop he had a friend (not with us) log into his Uber account and cancel our current ride (you can't cancel once the ride starts but logging in on a different phone allows you to). So I dropped him off and swiped "ride complete" it said I earned $0 for the trip. 

The little shit.

It wasn't a big deal I just called Uber support and told them what happened and they paid me but still. What a little shit.

6. radsadmadz -- Uber driver of the year. 

I saw a post on twitter from an uber driver who picked up a girl in her early 20's from the airport who had just flown to town to spend the weekend with her long distance boyfriend. The driver drove all the way to his house to find that he wasn't there. He texted the girl telling her it wasn't going to work out and that he didn't want to see her anymore.

The uber driver ended up taking the girl out with her friends the whole weekend to get drinks and party with them, making sure she had a great time and didn't fly all the way to have a shitty trip. Quite inspiring.

7. Saxxons37 -- Uhhh, you might wanna report that guy. 

Passenger, but once a driver talked about how they loved doing LSD. And were on LSD. While driving And offered us LSD.

8. Disorder_Form -- So many techie dudes in San Fran are suddenly on edge. 

Every girl in San Francisco is cheating on her techie boyfriend. They all talk about it loudly as if I am not there listening to every word. Every conversation is the same. 

"Steve's so nice and he treats me so good, I should like him, but he just doesn't do anything for me, that's why I have to see Jason on the side when he isn't busy with that whore Melissa or that other whore Danielle, tee hee"

"OMG girl you're cheating on Steve? OMG LIKE I'M TOTALLY CHEATING ON JON TOO, tee hee! WTF! WE. ARE. SO. BAD."

I've heard this conversation several dozen times.

9. SilverStone212 -- See LSD driver above. 

I'd say Drugs. People are very VERY open about using drugs. And the funny thing is I've seen Uber cops... Cops that drive in their spare time as well.. Note: not all Ubers do it Full-time we have other jobs as well.

10. atglobe -- Is this what becoming an adult is like? 

I drive for lyft, had a woman call her husband and talk about the blowout their kid had that morning. In graphic detail.

11. Citrous_Oyster -- Hey, the spooky skeleton that talks is priceless.  

Two girls in the back seat talking:

G1: hey did your mom add me as a beneficiary to her Halloween decorations when she dies?

G2: yeah she changed it last week. Oh my god, it's totally gonna happen, like soon. 

Who the fuck are these people?

from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2BjGiFW