1.
hey gurl are you summer bc i was really thrilled for you to get here and now you're so hot i'm hiding from you inside my house?
-- Molly Priddy (@mollypriddy) July 3, 2017
2.
Friends: Come out with us tonight.
-- The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) July 1, 2017
Me: Can't...I'm busy training my cat to play hockey.
F: You can't train a cat to play hockey!
Me: http://pic.twitter.com/vyfC1Oom22
3.
We are all one This American Life episode away from fully understanding the human experience & what squarespace is
-- Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 5, 2017
4.
Peter Parker? Haven't heard that name in years. http://pic.twitter.com/9oZ1fKX7mc
-- Matthew A. Cherry (@MatthewACherry) July 5, 2017
5.
Introducing Therapy Sword™
-- Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) July 5, 2017
Why spend 100s of dollars on a therapist when u can just swing a cool sword around for awhile?
Therapy Sword™
6.
Interviewer: "Do you consider yourself an independent person?"
-- Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) July 4, 2017
Me: *looks at the index cards my mom wrote for me*
"Yes."
7.
http://pic.twitter.com/lPiuAUjsHw
-- Gourmet Hot Takes (@NuclearTakes) July 4, 2017
8.
new sleeve..honestly it didn't even hurt lol http://pic.twitter.com/e7yklEVGG3
-- gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) July 5, 2017
9.
hey "nice" manbun haha it fuckin sucks you hipster asshole [he turns around and reveals he is a samurai from the tokugawa shogunate] oh fuck
-- sargon of ACAB 🚩 (@DOGGEAUX) July 4, 2017
10.
11.
BOSS: We need a really snappy opening line.
-- Glenn Moore (@TheNewsAtGlenn) July 5, 2017
JEFF 'THE IDIOT' FUCKHEAD: Yeah I've got one http://pic.twitter.com/X85wwxoXi3
from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2tkBhfU
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