13 Waiters Share The Absolute WORST Dates They've Ever Witnessed

Sure, the pay might be mediocre and you're on your feet pretty much all day, but one perk of working at a restaurant is the ability to be a fly on the wall of peoples conversations. These restaurant employees, though, might have got more than they bargained for with these horrible dates they witnessed.

1. novags500 is no amateur when it comes to witnessing awkward dates.

I have a few.

• I greet this couple with 2 kids. Say my usual "How are you guys doing today?" The man says "great" the wife then looks at her husband and screams "You're such a fucking liar, we're not great!" 

• I had a couple, maybe in their 30's, come in. Im guessing they were fighting because when the guy left for the restroom the girl grabbed his beer and poured it all over his coat, which was sitting in the booth. I actually had to grab the beer out of her hand, her response was "He'll clean it up!"

• There was a young couple, maybe late teens, straight up making out hardcore. Im talking about sucking face. What was even funnier is the girls mom was sitting across from them in the booth acting like it wasn't happening.

2. cheatatjoes shares the quickest way to end a date.

I once witnessed a blind date when I worked at a French restaurant that started like this:

Man: /already seated

Woman: /arrives, takes a seat

Me: /introduces self, asks what they would like

Man: let's start with a carafe of red, avec bread. ::he turns to the woman:: that means with bread. 

Woman kinda gave this look like, "Oh. God. Dammit."

3. _EAT_BERTHAS_MUSSELS -- This is a sad one.

We had an older lady come in on a Saturday morning. She happily informed the server that she was waiting for a date, and ordered a mimosa to drink. About three mimosas and forty-five minutes later, we start to think maybe her date is a no show. The waitress sits down and starts talking with the lady, trying to assess the situation, see if she still wants to order and what not.

That's when it gets strange. The lady says that her date was going to pay for the meal so she didn't have any money, and she wanted a fourth mimosa. Meanwhile she's cheerily looking out the window for her date, obviously nervous / excited to meet him, and very talkative. The server asks the manager what to do, so he sits down at the booth with the lady to talk with her.

Turns out, her date was Lynyrd Skynyrd and she had dementia :(

4. berlin-calling witnessed quite possibly the most anticlimactic proposal.

Worked at *****. Couple walks in in jeans, ratty t-shirts. Guy pulls my coworker aside, says he wants to propose. They spend 80% of the meal on their phones barely saying a word to each other. 

They get like huge meals - we're talking Ultimate Feast stuff your face this isn't sexy at all foods. 

They don't order dessert, so my coworker had to bring out the ring on a free drink that we gave them on the house. Coworker sat it down. Girl didn't notice, too busy playing games on the phone. There's about 10 of us crowded in the exit from the kitchen watching to see what happens. 

One minute passes...two minutes passes. Finally he must have cleared his throat or something and she looks up. Seems to not notice the ring. He, I guess, asks her to marry him. She just kinda says yes. No excitement. They continue playing on their phones for most of the remainder of the meal.

5. I love that these cops were keeping tabs on their Facebooks.

Former server, current bartender. I've seen a lot of awkward dates. Usually just a couple not clicking and sitting in silence, or someone not looking like their profile picture. 

The worst one was when I had a date get broken up by about ten cops rushing the table. Turns out the guy was a big time drug dealer who the cops had been looking for for quite some time. He got tackled, cuffed and taken outside. Meanwhile I'm standing there holding their food and a tray of drinks. All I could think of to say was "Sooooo.. Should I box this stuff up for you?" 

One of the cops came back in to apologize, and told me they caught him because the girl had tagged herself with him at the restaurant on Facebook. So, I guess always ask your date if they have any warrants out for their arrest before you tag them anywhere. 

Also I've seen a lot of dates turn really awkward really fast because of someone drinking too much. 

I once had a guy who came in already completely shit faced. He stood up to greet his date, tripped over a bar stool, and face planted. What made it worse was that he just laid on the floor without moving or saying anything until she left. Thankfully it only took her about 2 minutes to nope the fuck out. He didn't get seriously hurt, just a small cut on his nose, but it was painful to watch.

6. moriahisaginger -- maybe they're best friends now?

I had two men sat near each other at two separate tables, both waking for their dates. I fill water glasses and let them know I'll check in with them when their dates show up.

Time passes. And passes. And both men start looking around and checking their phones. 

About 20 minutes later I check in and ask either of them if they'd like a beer. 

I bring out the drinks and on my next round the men are sitting in silence together at the same table for the rest of their stay. 

Kinda sad but at least they both had a drinking buddy?

7. Longlittledoggy -- you may have had an overbearing mother, but at least she wasn't THIS overbearing.

one night, a couple years ago, we had a young couple (maybe 15/16) who were on a date. It was cute, they were awkward and I guess they hadn't been on many dates before. Then, I noticed that they kept talking to the two women at the table behind them every once in a while. It turned out that those were their moms. They were on a date, but I guess we're not allowed to go without supervision. I get it, but in a well lit public restaraunt? And the moms had to sit right next to them? What did they think was gonna happen? I would have been so embarrassed at that age.

8. roundearther -- whaaat?! The Taco Bell wedding didn't last?!

Not technically a date, but a wedding in the Taco Bell lobby at lunch time. I was the General Manager, they both worked for me. They had picked up their checks that morning and mentioned to another team member that they were getting their marriage license that day, but had not made any other arrangements yet. That third team member informed them that she was ordained as something or other and could officiate for them. They decided to go cash checks and come back to do the deal in the lobby... No, it did not last. .

9. berthejew -- "you pilfering maggot!" catchphrase of the year.

Used to work at a private, members only country club. There were lots of ladies who came in to eat lunch and play cards, groups of men who played poker and smoked cigars in a different area, a main dining room, etc. A woman who was playing bridge with her red hat society went balls-to-the-wall crazy one day.

Gentleman comes in with a woman, very nicely dressed. (This being the normal attire, but they were to the extreme.) I bring water, our cheese and cracker board, day menus etc. He sits down with her, they order, and I take out their food and glasses of wine. When she goes to the restroom, he tells me he'd like me to wrap this tennis bracelet around her next glass of wine. My manager and I get it looking spiffy on a glass, and I start to take it to her. I walk by the bridge room. Big mistake.

Red Hat lady is following me but I don't yet realize it. I'm two steps from their table when she snatches the glass from my tray. "You pilfering maggot!" and dumps the red wine on him, removes the bracelet, clasps it on her own wrist, slaps him in the head, and stalks out of the dining room. Everyone is wide eyed and silent. I rush to get soda water and napkins for him, and as I'm coming back, the woman is getting up to leave. She's crying with streaks of mascara running down her face, and takes off down the hall holding her shoes. He shouts his member number to me and books it out after her.

We found out later that the bracelet belonged to Red Hat and she was his ex mother in law. First wife had passed away and he was giving his new date her old jewelry, and Red Hat recognized the bracelet.

10. 0w1 -- yikes. Would hate to be this waiter. Or the dudes wife.

I used to have this family of regulars that came in for dinner; it was a man and a woman in their mid-late thirties, and two girls, maybe 8 and ten-ish. When they got there, one of the girls would say 'Dad, can we go pick out our table?' and they'd try to get this corner booth every time. He was a pretty cool guy, but I didn't really talk to the woman very often.

Anyway, they came in for dinner one time and I noticed it was just them. "No kids tonight?" I asked him. He gave me this surprised look and doesn't reply. Ooookay then. So I went "You folks want the usual spot?" Still no reply, just a couple of odd looks. I sat them at a random table nearby and handed them their menus. She looked a little different, so I asked her if she did something new with her hair. The guy just starts getting pissed off and tells me to get them some waters and leave them alone. Well shit. I looked again to make sure it was the right guy. Looked like him, and I definitely recognize the red mini-van he pulled up in. So what the fuck was his problem?

Then it dawned on me; he was with another woman. Probably his sister or something, you know? But the ladies looked similar enough, and I barely talk to her anyway, so I hadn't noticed. Well I felt pretty sheepish when I came back with their waters. Got to their table... they're super cozy with each other, and he's whispering into her ear. He gives her a nice kiss on the jaw when he sees me approach, and just stares fucking daggers at me. Shit, I don't know what's up but it's none of my business. I kept quiet and took their order. 

I went to the server station across the room to ring in their order. He appears like fucking magic a few moments later. Scared the shit out of me. He still looks pissed. I tried to apologize but he cuts me off.

"Don't you say a fucking word to my wife if you want to keep your job," he says Oh. Ok. I gave their table to another server and told her about my problem. We didn't see those people again.

TL;DR Who takes a mistress to the restaurant that'll recognize him, since he's there so often with his family?

11. AvieLikesThis -- I didn't realize this was a thing.

I've worked in several restaurants over the past 25 years. The awkward dates, at least in my experience, are always the ones where the girl (girls in these instances = 16-25) is pretending that she doesn't eat, usually first dates. At Burger King, in high school, she orders an order of fries and either gets water or a diet drink. When I worked for Pizza Hut, girls would always order the salad bar, and "Maybe I'll have a slice when it comes". A chicken wing joint I worked for: a side salad.

The guy would always stare at the girl like she's lost her mind.

12. pockets1989 explains why people really gotta chew with their mouths closed.

A young couple were enjoying themselves. Seems like the dude was pretty cool and straight forward and she seemed to enjoy his sense of humor. But then the food came. Young man kept talking with his mouth full, chewing loudly. Spitting food out onto the table unintentionally but noticeably. Wiping his hands on his clothes. She looked grossed out. She stopped eating told him she had to use the rest room. Never came back. After a half hour he got the hint and asked for the check. I really felt sorry for the kid because he didn't realize what he did wrong. My manager owed me a favor so I asked him to cover the check. Told the dude it was on me and let him leave.

13. What. The. Hell.

I posted this in a similar thread once, but here it is again!I was hired shortly after this incident, but employees still talk about it to this day. A guy and a girl are eating dinner at one of the half booth, half tables we had. From the surveillance video the scene plays out like this: Girl suddenly gets up from the booth side of the table and runs to the bathroom. Guy stands up, looks at the booth, covers his mouth, throws down some money and leaves. Server comes back to discover the booth filled with diarrhea. Eventually one of the girls friends comes and picks her up. The servers and manager on duty had to pull the booth from the wall to clean it up because this girls shit had run down into the cracks of the booth.

from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2zl8kR1