الجمعة، 16 يونيو 2017

14 of the DARKEST Stock Photos Ever Taken

7:21 ص  |  لا يوجد تعليقات

1.

Oh god? Why is he driving PERPENDICULAR to traffic on the highway? Why isn't he looking at the road?! WHY IS HE OFFERING HIS PASSENGER A SIP FROM AN OPEN BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE?! Under what circumstances would this stock photo EVER be useful?

News story this could accompany: "How To Make Your Murder-Suicide Extra Fancy - With Champagne!"



2.

Why is he holding this old, shirtless man hostage?! Who would need to BUY this stock photo?

News story this could accompany: "Gunman Holds Shirtless Old Man Hostage For Reminding Him Of the Ravages Of Age."



3.

This has become a pretty infamous stock photo online - AS IT SHOULD BE. For some reason, someone gave what appears to be an ACTUAL GUN to a child and photographed them pointing it and crying (and let's face it - you would probably cry too if an adult handed you an actual handgun and took photos of you for some inexplicable stock photo money scheme).

News story this could accompany: "Parents Arrested By Child Protective Services For Exploiting 5 Year Old In Insane Stock Photo Shoot."



4.

Uh, kids doing lines of coke isn't THAT far-fetched, I guess - what really makes this one weird is the two in the background drinking neon-blue soda (or some kind of wine cooler). They're just having a good time and looking deep into one another's eyes while their other friend is casually snorting coke RIGHT NEXT TO THEM?

News story this could accompany: "Selfish Kid Doesn't Share Any Cocaine With His Soda-Loving Buds."



5.

If you would have asked me whether the world needed a stock photo of a dad and baby despairingly smoking cigarettes while wearing all white in an all-white house, I would have probably answered "what the hell are you even talking about?"

News story this could accompany: "Yep, Smoking Still Bad For Babies"



6.

The REAL messed up thing about this stock photo is that that appears to be an actual baby - meaning this person was making AN ACTUAL BABY CRY FOR THE PURPOSES OF A STOCK PHOTO. And the stock photo itself - a woman kneeling and chugging wine while holding a screaming infant - doesn't seem like it was worth upsetting a young child on purpose.

News story this could accompany: "World's Worst Mother Has Decided To Kneel Instead of Sit For Some Reason?"

 

7.

"C'mon son! Let's take a fake photo of me running you down in the car! It'll be fun for the whole family!"

News story this could accompany: "Texting Driver Who Committed Hit-and-Run Tells THEIR Side of the Story"



8.

Uh, so....this woman clearly killed her husband right? That's the implication here? It's either that or she's planning to have sex with the dead body.

News story this could accompany: "Woman Who Clearly Killed Her Husband Is Incredibly Bad At Hiding It"



9.

NO. WHY WOULD SOMEONE UPLOAD THIS TO A STOCK PHOTO SITE? WHO IS THE INTENDED MARKET FOR THIS?

News story this could accompany: "World's Worst Mall Santa At It Again"



10.

...speaking of dark, sad Santa photos!

News story this could accompany: "Bad Santa 2 Promotion Takes Things A Little Too Far"



11.

This is weird - not only for it being two people in an awkward-looking life-or-death struggle, but because of how DISINTERESTED they both look.

News story this could accompany: "Murder Victim Isn't Even That Into It"



12.

This really seems like some kind of passive-aggressive husband who wanted to act out his homicidal fantasy under the guise of "we're just taking some stock photos, dear!"

News story this could accompany: "This Couple Has Been Married For 60 Years - And They Both Want Out"



13.

The old woman's shrug and eye-roll is a pretty common thing for stock photo sites - but what's NOT usual is the old man in the background of the SAME PHOTO preparing to blow his brains out with a revolver. There's a lot going on here.

News story this could accompany: "Husband Whose Wife Couldn't Figure Out How To Open Microsoft Word Decides To End It All"



14.

That honestly just looks like Bob Odenkirk turned into Jesus and decided to get vengeance on Judas' great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson.

News story this could accompany: "Jesus Has Returned - AND HE IS PISSED"





from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2sGXEMN

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