15 Thoughts God Must've Had While Creating the World

الجمعة، 5 مايو 2017

15 Thoughts God Must've Had While Creating the World

[god inventing arms]

just sew a couple of meat snakes to their sides that they can control with their minds.
-- erin chack 🥕 (@ErinChack) May 4, 2017

[God creating bananas] "give that tree a bunch of yellow dicks"
-- huntigula (@huntigula) May 3, 2017

[Creating bees]
God: Give them black and yellow stripes.
Angel: OK
God: And have the survival of humanity hinge on their existence.
-- Ste(ph)en (@stephenjmolloy) April 30, 2017

[god creating snakes] "pasta, but frightening"
-- Matt Fowler (@TheMattFowler) May 3, 2017

God creating bears: Ok so you guys have no natural predators, you get to sleep through the Winter and when you wake up you'll be skinny.
-- OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 23, 2015

"I was cooking a porcupine in hot sauce when it caught on fire and I guess that's how the seed was planted." - God, on creating Guy Fieri
-- Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 29, 2012

[god creating hedgehogs]
"what if circles could stab you"
-- Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) March 30, 2017

[God creating the kangaroo]
"Okay how about like an alive backpack that jumps around"
-- ♡ brian essbe ♡ (@SortaBad) June 30, 2016

"Jam that tiger in that dolphin." - God creating sharks
-- Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 6, 2016

10.

upon creating the flamingo, god was like "no wait ok fine u can see it but its sooo stupiiid"
-- julio torres ~* (@juliothesquare) August 2, 2014

11.

[inventing the parrot]
HOW ABOUT LIKE A TYE DYE CHICKEN WHO SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU
-- dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) February 18, 2015

12.

[god creating bees]
Put a needle on its butt.
"Come on God, wha--"
Make its puke delicious.
"WTF."
-- horny rae jepsen (@themiltron) April 8, 2015

14.

[God creating dogs]

Oh these turned out great. Im going to want all of these back at some point
-- Ygrene (@Ygrene) March 31, 2016

15.

[god creating this joke format]
GOD: make it light
ANGEL: ok
GOD: just inocuous enough to nudge ppl on the internet into considering i exist
-- jomny sun (@jonnysun) July 24, 2016