13 Failed Attempts at Flirting That Are as Creepy as They Are Sad

Why some people think that starting out a conversation with "I love your skin, do you need your skin? Let me wear your skin" is a good way to find a partner, we'll never know.

But, that's what we get for signing up for DatingoftheLambs.com.

And Bill, if you're reading this, please stop asking about my body measurements. 

1. *Takes hard step backwards*

via slambamboozled

2. What a strange egg. 

via TheTributeThrowaway

3. Ugh, telling people about your dreams is so boring. 

via Grobur

4. If you type to someone that they're your gf, it's contractually binding.

via imabuscus

5. Happy 1 month, my future kidnapped bride!

via CoreMcClair

6. I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE BECAUSE I AM MAN.

via throwawooga

7. It puts the lotion on the skin (and then goes out on a date).

via pathologicallylate

8. What a lovely poem.

via Grobur

9. I think he's watched too much porn about pizza delivery drivers, because uhh, no dude.

via weatherexp

10. Nothing more romantic than a guy admitting he wants to kidnap you. 

via creepyPMs

11. At least he's honest. 

via Caught_On_fire99

12. No matter how far you drift apart, it will never be far enough, my good man.

via VeedleDee

13. Fucking disgusting, I hate sunflower seed milk ice cream.

via skepticetoh

from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2vehcKm

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11 People Who Messed Up, Plain & Simple

We've all fucked up a time or two. But these people's fuck-ups are luckily in plainsight on the internet for us to enjoy until the end of time.

1. At no point did this baker find the name 'CK-543C' odd.

Bitchbitchbitcher

2. Sorry Tim, we're siding with Karen on this one.

rancidsauce

3. These are the gas pumps in heaven.

Nkoppe1

4. Cole's friends, what have you done?!

Strebeck

5. The best part is how they immediately froze like deer in headlights.

coloursofemotions 

6. I hope he at least kept it and embraced his fail.

Drakethrune

7. Caught, pink-handed.

 sirquinsy

8. The looks say it all.

I DIDNT KNOW I WAS IN THE MENS BATHROOM http://pic.twitter.com/ZCM6YUw65D

-- k nycole 👼🏾 (@bbypeachess) May 26, 2017

9. The ground says f*ck you and f*ck your bouncy fun.

 GFBIGFAN

10. I have a feeling the brother didn't believe this "explanation."

 Dontjudgeme3

11. Aaand the award for most costly mistake goes to the dude responsible for this mishap.

firedrill

from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2w6fnv5

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15 Celebrity Sex Tapes That 0 People Would Want to Watch

Hope you're ready to picture 15 men you've never thought of in a sexual way, in a sexual way! 

1. Pssh, nobody act like they don't wanna see Frank bang some hoors.

2. I hate even the idea of this. This man is far too pure for this. Mr. Rogers, I apologize on behalf of all of us.

3. 🎶  OooooOOOOOooooh It's Mr. Flick Your Bean 🎶 

4. WE THE BEST SEX TAPE!

5. Star ofWedding Smashers, Midnight in Paris Hilton, and Cars.

6. Welcome to my sex tape, where everything is made up and the orgasm doesn't matter.

7. Watching his sex tape would be just like watching Two and a Half Men.

8. Star of Forest Hump, Fapaway, and Big

9. This is true. It's true and haunting.

10. And you better believe the carpet matches the drapes.

11. We got about as close a sex tape of his as you can get.

12. Though, the start of The Room is more or less his sex tape already.

13. Dude's got a name for porn. If he's ever tired of the A-list actor grind, porn would be a great fallback.

14. Ah yes, star of Superbang and Nick and Norah's Infinite Banglist.

15. Whew thank goodness, that means no chance of tapes.

from CollegeHumor: Pictures http://ift.tt/2vebpV2

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