11 Tumblr Stories With Twist Endings That Got M. Night. Shyamalan Shook

Tumblr isn't known for being the most predictable site on the internet, and we love is for precisely that reason. Most of the stories start off pretty normal and end up so far out in left field it made you forget you were even playing baseball in the first place.

Honestly, all these twists and turns keep us youthful; we're just grateful that something in this terrible, bad bullshit world can keep us from becoming 100% jaded. 

So, if you're ready for the ride of your life, then buckle on up, boys, it's gonna be a bumpy one. Or maybe it'll be as smooth as a toddler's toosh! Who knows!? Tumblr will always keep you coming back for more surprises. 

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1. Natalie is a wild child.

via sir_tort

2. There's a scorpian in my boot.

via SatanistSnowflake

3. NEXT.

via clicheghost

4. This isn't what I remember Rent being about.

via mike_pants

5. That answers that.

via crazydaze1912

6. This is a good lesson. 

via Hollacaine

7. Lyk dis if u crie evertim.

via TimTim67

8.

via onelourve

9. Mickey is a saint. 

via mitllo88

10. Captain Dildo. 

via dylanna

11. DEPLORABLE!

via Technoboy96

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12 Tweets That Were Born For You. They Are Your Children!

Mother gave beautiful birth to these tweets. Now they are yours to take care of. Laugh, love and learn from them, just like our parents did from us. Be responsible, do not abandon your children, they need to suckle your teet. The need the nectar only you can provide. Give them likes, retweets and follow the comics. This is your chance to change a tweets life.

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1. I'm not __ years old.

If someone ever tells me I look my actual age I will walk into the ocean

-- Yassir Lester (@Yassir_Lester) May 31, 2018

2. You gotta wife it up.

This woman was walking around NYC with this label on her shoe and now she's my wife pic.twitter.com/T8UvFYgokv

-- Katrin (@KatraHigher) May 31, 2018

3. Math can be hrad

finally figured out why they call cops "12"

you have to call 911 for the cops

9 + 1 + 1 = 12

can't believe I never realized it 😂🤦‍♂️

-- 1994 Subaru Outback (@Sadieisonfire) May 31, 2018

4. Actually... Great question

u think elephants got booger all up and down their trunks

-- Ross Snow (@MessJenkins) January 16, 2018

5. They're leaving flowers for her mother

Wow camoflage really does work pic.twitter.com/RreLgS1u8E

-- teen (@babbyvietcong) May 30, 2018

6. Damnit autocorrect, you butch!

When it autocorrects bitch to butch pic.twitter.com/O3g6vBwhpl

-- Avery Homer (@excusememisss_) May 29, 2018

7. He would def get laid more

Need to write a viral tweet before bed ummmmmm ok got it.

ok sure Big Bird is a pretty big bird but relatively speaking Kermit is a fucking huge frog they should have called him Big Frog

-- TÁlan (@alan_maguire) May 29, 2018

8. The words of Christ.

"yup" -db pic.twitter.com/h1RX5BcKvN

-- dorto chipe (@dogboner) May 31, 2018

9. Rawr lol xD

me: hi
hot topic cashier: 🖤 :3 nightmare before christmas🔪💉🖤
me: what
hot topic cashier: i said have a nice day

-- gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) May 31, 2018

10. The whites live and die by the code

"Racism is indefensible but here's a defense of it." - white people proverb

-- Rhea Butcher 🛠🇵🇷 (@RheaButcher) May 30, 2018

11. INCLUDE me!

If I notice my friends laughing in a conversation I'm not included in I just shriek, "STOP!!" Then I stare at them for a few seconds. Then I say, "stop." In a much calmer but stern voice.

-- John Reynolds (@JohnReynoldss) May 31, 2018

12. And a good first meme to share.

This is the first meme I've ever shared but it's a day of firsts so... pic.twitter.com/5glv1VjU1H

-- Jane Bradley (@jane__bradley) May 30, 2018

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11 Christian Memes To Pray To Tonight & For Eternity

1. Do not be tempted or else.

AbijaZ

2. Stop toying with us, God.

Me trying not get frustrated with God's plans for my life pic.twitter.com/5udgQxJBBK

-- HJY (@HoodJesusYo) April 16, 2018

3. Let there be a good boy.

Jon2208

4. Hmm weird.

BruceDwayne1

5. This is what happens when sex before marriage isn't allowed.

Christian relationships...

First Date: Second Date: pic.twitter.com/bnEZiMFPdr

-- Jaron Myers (@jaronmyers) April 26, 2018

6. Jesus is always watching.

Mr_Tohtle

7. Theology professors gettin' ROASTED in here.

BruceDwayne1

8. Uhoh.

flareguy86

9. They went together like peanut butter and jelly. But..like this.

 liavz123

10. Nice try, Devil worshipper.

 liavz123

11. You may also call upon Jesus for free, any time.

Lord_Anime_Lover

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12 Clever Tumblr Posts Guaranteed To Amuse

1. This is far too believable.

source

2. And also babies can immediately talk.

source

3. Get the eff outta my house.

source

4. Summed up very broadly, I guess.

source

5. Hahaha

source

6. Uncle Danny has some stories.

source

7. I SAID NOT TODAY

source

8. Anything materializing out of thin air will definitely gimme a spook.

source

9. I guess that counts for something.

source

10. Oh wow, actually makes way too much sense.

source

11. This is the way to get the dark afraid of you.

source

12. I think this is worth the choking hazard tbh

source

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The 13 Biggest Dick Moves You Can Do In Monopoly

Monopoly is not for the faint of heart....like, seriously I've lost friends over it. The whole game is full of potential ways that you can piss off your friends and I'm getting angry just thinking about some of them. The nice people at r/AskReddit had their users share the biggest dick moves they've ever encountered when playing the infamous board game. Their answers are....infuriating. Without any further ado, please enjoy: 

Editorial credit: txking / Shutterstock.com

1. applepwnz thinks outside of the factory issued box: 

I'd allow that as "counterfeiting" with an additional rule that if any player catches you adding your own Monopoly money to the game, you immediately get sent to jail and all of your properties are returned to the bank.

2. whirlpoohl's mom likes to gloat: 

My mom: as you land on her hotels and count thousands of dollars, she takes the money and says "nice doing business with you" with a shit eating grin

I'm sorry Ma but that makes me unreasonably angry

3. MadcapRecap is gonna make you run out of pieces: 

Stop at 4 houses on every property, rather than upgrading to hotels. You choke the supply and prevent others getting enough houses.

4. slapabrownman's wife is an evil genius: 

The wife will attempt to get one of every property. When she accomplished this goal she will refuse to trade with anyone unless it's the worst fucking deal In the history of the game.

Editorial credit: Anastasia Sokolenko / Shutterstock.com

5. jeremy1015's sister just wants to watch the world burn: 

I see a lot of people talking about houses. That's basic strategy. The real biggest dick move in Monopoly is making a hugely lopsided trade to strike back at someone who knocked you nearly out of the game.

My sister did this the last time I played Monopoly. I had three houses on the oranges and 4 on the light blues and was cruising to victory.

She hit me and lost basically all of her money, but didn't actually bankrupt. She was donezo as soon as she hit anything else and it was clear to everyone.

So she sold of her properties to her boyfriend for $1 to try and prevent me from winning more or less out of spite. Technically within the rules, but just a total asshole thing to do.

To me, this is the definition of poor sportsmanship and a dick move.

6. JV19's friend used the old "Airbud" defense: 

My friend hides his money because "nowhere in the rulebook does it say your money has to be visible"

7. NChSh knows what's up: 

Grabbing the dog/Scottish Terrier piece before anyone gets a chance to pick who they are, as it is clearly the best one

8. mattreyu covers all their dick move bases:

Insist on playing by all the rules, including no free parking money and auctioning properties. Buy all the houses but don't upgrade to hotels so nobody else can buy houses. If you play by the rules as intended, nobody is going to want to play a game with you again.

Editorial credit: CaseyMartin / Shutterstock.com

9. TheManicMonocle's mom used the biggest mom dick move there is: Guilt: 

One time my sister was asking me to forgive her rent and I said "'Oh, Mr. Scrooge, can you give us some more coal for the fire Mr. Scrooge??' The answer is no!"

10. Maverick314 didn't come here to make friends. They came here to win: 

Negotiate everyone to death... I spent an hour and a half negotiating a deal for a single property at one point

We don't play anymore

I won the game though, so it was worth

11. vnutellanutella keeps their dick moves simple 

Stealing money from the bank

12. HunrySmeth went literal with this one: 

floppin your dick out on the board

13. LexLuthorJr knows the only proper way to play Monopoly:

Thirty minutes in, trading everything you own to another player for $1 then quitting the game.

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